


Do you like me? Yes or No

by Saltcoats_Selkie



Series: Jasmine McKellar x Merula Snyde [1]
Category: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Coming Out, Consensual Sex, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Language, F/F, Female Protagonist, HIV/AIDS Crisis, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, Male Rowan Khanna, POV Lesbian Character, Purebloods (Harry Potter), Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Slytherin, Slytherin Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23717629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltcoats_Selkie/pseuds/Saltcoats_Selkie
Summary: Jasmine’s crush on her arch-rival Merula hasn’t subsided in the months since they shared a dance together at the Celestial Ball. Despite a full summer spent wrestling with her newly apparent sexuality in the middle of the deeply conservative muggle town of Ayr, Jasmine is still desperate to know if Merula feels the same way about her.
Relationships: Merula Snyde/Original Female Character(s), Player Character & Merula Snyde, Player Character/Merula Snyde
Series: Jasmine McKellar x Merula Snyde [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739608
Comments: 27
Kudos: 115





	1. But out there, in the real world, what am I?

**Author's Note:**

> A sort-of canon divergent rewrite of the Hogwarts Mystery ‘First Date’ adventure. It’s kind of dark, but it seemed a bit unrealistic to me how light-hearted and accepting everyone was being in canon towards my lesbian MC in 1980s Britain.
> 
>   
> Maybe it’s just because in-game my MC only ever seems to confide in Gryffindor students. We don’t do that here. I haven't really written any fanfic before, so bear with me. I’m open to any feedback. I do hope you’ll enjoy reading this though. Obviously this work contains some pretty big spoilers for the actual first date adventure, as well as some minor spoilers for the overarching plot across the 4th year - 5th year transition.

_And if a double decker bus, crashes into us_

_To die by your side, is such a heavenly way to die._

_And if a ten ton truck, kills the both of us_

_To die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine_

— _There is a light that never goes out, The Smiths_

Jasmine McKellar boarded the Hogwarts Express at 10:52 am on Thursday September 1st, 1988. She’d been waiting on Platform 9 ¾ for what seemed like an eternity, her long brown hair whipping in the wind as her hazel eyes scoured the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of her old rival, Merula Snyde. Of course, Merula had thwarted her yet again and had either managed to board the train already without her noticing, or was carefully hiding somewhere, waiting to board once Jasmine had given up.

Merlin, at least that’s what Jasmine was hoping was the reason she hadn't seen her yet.

Once she was on board, she made her way down towards the Prefects’ compartments, peering through the windows as she did so. Of course there was no sign of Snyde this close to the front of the train. If she was on the train at all she would be further along, with the other fifth years. No time to reach her now. Dammit. 

She pressed on along the corridor until she finally arrived at the compartment set aside for the Slytherin Prefects and spotted Rowan Khanna’s face through the window. She put her anxious mood aside and slid open the door dramatically.

“Good morning, fellow Prefect!” She shouted gleefully.

“Good morning, fellow Prefect!” Rowan echoed, jumping to his feet. 

The rest of the cabin collectively rolled their eyes at the new pair’s overly enthusiastic display.

“Gosh you’ve grown! Come here,” Jasmine threw her bag onto an empty seat by the door before pulling her friend into a tight hug. “And I like the new hat thing, very nice!”

“It’s a dastār,” Rowan sighed. “I’m a ‘man’ now apparently.”

“Oh, sorry, well, I like it, it suits you.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Rowan shrugged, taking his seat.

“So how have you been Jas?”

“Um,” Jasmine stammered. “Have you seen Merula?”

“No, why?” Rowan replied. “What’s up Jasmine?”

“Um, I’m scared Rowan.”

“About Merula?”

“No! No...but...”

“What is it then Jas?”

“Um, well, I think I saw someone die last week Ro.” 

Jasmine let herself fall backwards down onto her seat.

“Oh, oh shit.” Rowan crossed the compartment and squeezed in next to his friend. “Who was it? Somebody you knew?”

“No, I don’t know, some muggle kid I think.” 

Definitely not Merula. How could it have been? No, not in Glasgow.

“I was up in the city for this punk show and some skinhead cunts shoved this girl. Anyway, she slipped and she cracked her head wide open on the fucking curb.”

“Woah,” Rowan looked aghast.

“And you know what they did next?” Her voice trembled. “They started fucking laying in to her Rowan. They kicked the fucking shite out of her as she lay there bleeding the fuck out all over the fucking road!”

Rowan sat in stunned silence for a moment. 

“But... Why? Why would anyone do that?”

“It was because she was gay,” Jasmine winced. “Because she had a fucking dyke haircut and the fucking muggle Prime Minister is going around telling every cunt out there that it’s okay for people like that to die. Because her life meant less to them in that moment than the thrill they got from stamping it out.” She sobbed.

“Gosh, Jasmine. I’m sorry. I had no idea things were that bad up there. Are, are you okay?” 

“It’s everywhere Rowan! Maybe it’s worse in the muggle towns but those fucking leaflets dropped everywhere Rowan. I don’t know. I just wish I could have done something to help her. Without being allowed to cast magic I just felt so helpless you know? When I’m at Hogwarts it’s like, I’m the ‘mighty curse-breaker’ you know? But out there, in the real world, what am I?”

Rowan draped his arm around his friend and pulled her close just as the door slid open and Barnaby Lee stepped in. 

“Woah, okay hello. Not interrupting anything in here am I?” He joked as he sat down in the free seat across from the pair.

“Actually, I don’t think you’re allowed to be in here...” one of the older prefects piped up, but Barnaby either didn’t hear her, or he just didn’t register it.

Seeing the tears welling in Jasmine’s eyes as she raised her head to fix him with a cold stare he suddenly changed his tune. “Oh I’m sorry. Are you okay Jas, what’s up?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Have you seen Merula?”

“Umm, I can’t say I have, but I’m pretty sure I was the last one on board, so I’m sure she’ll turn up!” Barnaby said cheerfully.

Then all of a sudden, the train was in motion. Jasmine felt her head spin and she reached for her bag. Rowan obligingly handed her her water bottle and she took a long drink.

Not long afterwards a rather excited looking Penny Haywood popped her head in through the door.

“Where are my new Slytherin prefects?” She called out in her sing-song voice. “Congratulations you two, you really deserve it!”

She was the most popular girl in school. Probably the prettiest too. She was also one of Hufflepuff’s new Prefects and she was positively beaming about it. Seeing the state of her friends though, she quickly dropped the theatrics. 

“Oh, what’s wrong gang?”

“I think Jasmine’s lost Merula,” Barnaby replied before either of the other two have a chance.

“Oh, I heard she and Ismelda were causing some trouble down in the fifth year compartments a minute ago. What does he mean you lost her, Jasmine?” Penny said, puzzled.

“And what are you doing here?” She looked quizzically at Barnaby, who returned the expression.

“It’s nothing, forget it.” Jasmine forced a smile. The knot that had been forming in her stomach had loosened slightly knowing that Merula was safely aboard. But there was no way that she would get a chance to talk with her alone now. Not until after the Start-of-Term Feast at least. 

Once Barnaby was finally kicked out of the Prefects’ carriage, Jasmine joined the others in changing into her school robes. The Head Boy handed her her new prefect badge and she spent a while fussing over pinning it, making sure it was on straight.

Sitting back down afterwards she tried to enjoy the rest of the journey north. She vaguely noticed some more of her friends coming and going as they explored the train, making sure to catch up with as many people as they could before they arrived at Hogwarts and were split into their respective houses for the rest of the night. She barely paid attention during the Head Boy and Girl’s lecture about her new duties, but Rowan could probably fill her in afterwards. She vaguely remembered something about patrolling the train, but the Head Girl had obviously overheard her outburst and had decided to let her off the hook for today.

In her head the same show reel kept repeating again and again, over and over. She saw Merula’s smile, the starlight reflection in her violet eyes. She felt her clammy hand as they danced together to the music. Then she heard the shouting, a scream and saw the blood spattered shock of orange hair on the muggle girl’s head as she lay there at the mercy of those men.

“I’m not going to lose you.” She whispered.

* * *

As the train rolled in to Hogsmeade Station Jasmine stood and stretched her legs. Picking up her bag, she made her way to the platform and over where the carriages were waiting to collect them for the journey around to the castle. All the while she kept her eye out for that dark hair with the orange fringe.When she finally caught a glimpse of her elusive quarry the other girl was already climbing up onto a carriage beside Ismelda. Her heart lifted as she spied her crush, but it immediately skipped a beat for an entirely different reason. Something was very different about the carriages this year.

“Are you even listening to me Jasmine?” Rowan sounded exasperated but Jasmine just through her arm in front of her friend and stopped him in his tracks.

“What are those?”

“What are what? The carriages?”

“No, those!” Jasmine pointed to the space in front of the nearest carriage where one would normally expect to see horses. Where she had only ever expected to see thin air.

“Ohhhhh” said Rowan. “Oh of course. You must see them now huh?”

“Rowan, what are they?” Jasmine’s voice was trembling again. “Why can I see them and you can’t.”

“They must be thestrals.” Rowan replied. “I’ve read about them. People say they’re a bad omen, but they’re actually really loyal. And these ones are totally tame, they wouldn’t attack you unless you really tried hard to warrant it. The only thing is, well, nobody can see them unless they’ve seen someone die.”

So that was that then. That muggle was definitely dead. Jasmine shuddered.

“Well trust me, you’re not missing out on anything bonnie.”

The Thestral stood larger than an average horse, but its skeletal structure was fairly comparable. And it was very easy to compare. The creature looked as if someone had somehow stripped all of the muscle and fat away from a normal horse, but somehow left it’s skin intact. They were also nothing like horses at all. They had almost dragon-like heads with pale white eyes, and sprouting from their backs were huge leathery wings.

Jasmine summed up all of her courage and stepped forward towards the creatures, joining the queue to climb aboard the next available Thestral-drawn carriage. She was glad to have Rowan by her side. She was tough. Two years as Slytherin’s star beater had left her with some deadly biceps at least, and she was pretty well toned. But Rowan’s recent growth spurt had brought him almost level to her 5’8”, and he was starting to bulk out too. His facial hair was definitely coming in strong too, but most of all he was _smart_ , like, Ravenclaw level smart. It was a good thing he was so damn ambitious or she might have lost him to that house as soon as they got to Hogwarts.

Jasmine snuggled into Rowan’s arm as the carriage made its way around the Black Lake. The autumn air was bringing a chill, and it was always colder up in the Highlands than she was used to in her seaside town. She could still smell the farm, and his family’s cooking, on her friend’s robes as he recounted their duties as the new Prefects to her. She’d be missing that smell by tomorrow, once it was absorbed by the scent of damp stone and parchment.

‘Fuck’ she thought to herself. Why the fuck couldn’t she just have a crush on Ro?. Why did the warmth and safety of Rowan’s hugs stir nothing in her while one sharp word from Merula could leave her with butterflies in her stomach all afternoon. And what in the hell had Rowan been thinking going to the ball last year with that mudblood Gryffindor, Copper? If he’d only been a bit more forward and bothered to ask _her_ to the dance instead she probably never would have had to admit to her feelings about Merula at all. “Ughhh” she groaned out loud, prompting a look from Rowan, who had apparently been explaining something to her the whole time she’d been daydreaming.

“Was I supposed to be listening to that?” Jasmine looked up into those deep brown eyes with her best ‘I’m sorry’ face on.

“Just make sure you take the first year girls to their dorm room after dinner tonight alright?” Rowan sighed. “It’ll be the one the seventh years were in last year.”

Jasmine made a mental note to try not to forget that.

* * *

Walking in through the doors to the Great Hall, Jasmine marvelled at the ever-spectacular scene before her. The hall was absolutely buzzing with activity. Thousands of candles floated above four long tables, illuminating the hundreds of students already finding their places amongst their fellows. At the far end of the hall the Hogwarts staff were gathering along their own long table, and each table was heavy with glittering gold goblets, plates and cutlery. The velvety black ceiling, dotted with stars loomed over the whole scene. 

Jasmine was on her way to join her friends on the slytherin table when Penny swooped in to stop her. Penny’s golden hair was practically glowing beneath the light of all the candles above them. A not small part of Jasmine often wished she could wake up half as beautiful as Penny. But the mousy mess on her head did nothing special beneath the lights here, or anywhere really.

“Jasmine! It’s good to see you looking a little less glum at least! That Prefect badge looks ace on you!”

“Thanks Penny. Same to you, hey.”

“Cheers Jas. How was your summer, did you get up to much?”

Jas felt her pulse quicken. Her summer had been almost entirely spent reviewing the extensive collection of Merula sketches she kept in her Care of Magical Creatures workbook. She definitely wasn’t about to share that with the Queen of Gossip herself. Nor could she share the exorbitant number of hours she’d spent wallowing in self-hatred and utter confusion about the way those sketches made her feel.

“I was… studying, mostly.” Jasmine said with a shrug. “I read everything I could find on the Dark Arts.” At least that part was kind of true. “Rakepick is taking over as professor this year, so I want to be prepared.”

“I’m still not sure I trust her.” Said Penny.

“She saved my life Penny. And she did promise to help me find my brother, though I’m not sure how I’ll manage to keep up with the search while I’m spending my entire year in the kitchens.”

“Oh, that’s right. The detention. Is that why you look so on edge? You start tomorrow right? Hey though, at least they still let you start your term as Prefect!”

“Yeah, I guess, although that just means I’ll have even _less_ free time, doesn’t it?”

“Oh yeah.” Penny paused, trying to find the silver lining.

“Look, I have to go, the sorting ceremony will be starting soon and I need to talk to someone about something first.”

Jasmine tried to ignore how awkwardly that went as she hurried the rest of the way along beside the Slytherin table.

She searched desperately for Merula’s face among the crowd. When she finally caught a glimpse of those violet eyes she could have sworn that they had already been trained on her for a while. Merula quickly changed up her expression to a scowl and gave Jasmine a look that definitely said ‘keep moving’.

Jasmine found Rowan sitting near the top of the table with their friend, Liz Tuttle. Liz had been recounting with great enthusiasm something about her summer when Jasmine slapped her on the shoulder and squeezed her way in between the pair.

“What’s up Lizard?” She said as she took her seat.

“Oh, hi Jas. I was just telling Rowan about a family of flitterbys that I found nesting in our garden… they were the most beautiful little critters. Oh…”

The sound of Professor McGonagall clearing her throat quickly brought an end to the brief conversation. 

Jasmine sat through the sorting ceremony with a little more interest than usual. She clapped along with the other Slytherins whenever a new student was sorted into their house, and she did her best to try and memorise each of their names too.

After the sorting ceremony, McGonagall gave the welcome address in place of the Headmaster. She stressed the importance of learning, reminding the fifth year students of their upcoming O.W.L.s, the seventh years of their N.E.W.T. exams and introducing Madame Rakepick as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. 

Jasmine’s pet Tarantula, Ember, made a brief appearance during dinner, crawling her way down Jasmine’s arm and out of her robes onto the table. She picked over the meaty leftovers at the side of Jasmine’s plate while her owner stared off in Merula’s direction. Jasmine managed to make eye contact with Merula once more during the feast, prompting the other witch to give her a frustrated look as she mouthed the word ‘What?’ sarcastically. 

Well that wasn’t working.

As soon as she’d finished her desert she jumped up, finally free to catch up with the girl she’d been crushing on so hard. She took a step towards where Merula was finishing up her meal before she felt Rowan’s hand on her shoulder.

“Forgetting something?” He said, shaking his head. “We have to show the first years to their dorm rooms.”

Oh, right. Jasmine huffed. “Of course.”

* * *

By the time that Jasmine had shown the first year girls to the Slytherin dungeon and into their dormitory room, it was almost time for lights out. She peeked into her own dorm room but there were no signs that Merula had been up there yet. Heading back out into the common room she found it was almost empty. A young first year boy was standing face pressed against the glass, eyes searching the depths of the Black Lake, and the Slytherin seeker was sitting on the floor by the fireplace, her nose buried in _A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration_. The large green couches in the middle of the room were mysteriously cordoned off.

Jasmine quietly approached the boy and whispered. “Are you okay there?”

“My brother said you could see the giant squid from here if you look hard enough, but I can’t see anything!” The boy sounded at the end of his rope.

“Maybe you should try again once the sun comes up? It’s black as pitch out there now, I doubt even your brother could find anything in that darkness.”

“Oh…” the boy said.

Jasmine ushered the boy back towards his dorm rooms before turning and throwing the seeker a wave. She paused to return the gesture, but quickly returned to what she was reading.

Jasmine sighed heavily. There was no point in waiting any longer for Merula to show up. She would go and get some rest and hopefully try and speak to Merula tomorrow. She stifled a yawn as she plodded back towards her dorm and made herself ready for bed.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she would tell her.


	2. McKellar’s got a crush

Jasmine’s alarm started ringing out early on Friday morning after what seemed like the shortest night’s sleep in Jasmine’s life.

“Turn that bloody thing off or I’ll end you right now, McKellar.” Ismelda moaned from somewhere in the darkness across from her.

Jasmine quickly obliged, if for the sake of her own friends a little more than Murk’s. She sat up in bed and let her eyes adjust to the darkness.

She could just make out a lump under the covers of Merula’s bed across from her. She must have come in at some stage after Jasmine had gone to sleep. 

Jasmine quietly grabbed her toiletries, towel and robes and headed for the bathroom. She washed quickly and got ready for her first day of classes. Once she was dressed, she returned the rest of her things to her trunk and made her way along the corridor to the first year’s dorm. 

She slowly opened the door and withdrew her wand, casting a quick incantation that set all of the room’s candles ablaze and left the room full of young girls groaning and blinking themselves awake.

“Come on girls!” Jasmine called. “It’s your first day today, I want all of you to get out there and make me proud. You’ve been sorted into Slytherin for a reason, Now I want you to prove to me that you belong here. Slytherins are strong, we’re shrewd, and we get things done! Now up! I want you ready for breakfast in the Great Hall in 20 minutes. I’ll be waiting for you out in the common room. Don’t make me come and find you.” 

Okay, maybe staying on as Prefect did have its perks, Jasmine smirked as she strolled out into the common room and leant back against the wall near the door. 

* * *

After leading the first years down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Jasmine found herself getting waved over to spend the meal with her Hufflepuff friends. Penny was sitting with two more girls from their year, Nymphadora Tonks and Chiara Lobosca, as well as a first year girl who was almost the spitting image of her. Penny introduced her as Beatrice, her sister on the Hufflepuff table. Jasmine spent some time getting to know the young witch before catching up with her friends and asking Penny how her first night as a Prefect had been.

* * *

Jasmine’s first class for the term was Study of Ancient Runes with Professor Bathsheda Babbling. It was a moderately interesting elective, and Jasmine did occasionally enjoy it, but none of her friends had taken it up, instead opting for Divination or Arithmancy, and so Classroom 6A was usually a pretty uneventful one. 

Today Jasmine spent the morning drawing little cartoons in the margins of her notebook and wondering about the best way to strike up a conversation with Merula during potions class. About half way through the professor’s opening lecture, it occurred to her that perhaps her problem yesterday was that she had been too hung up on waiting for some elusive moment when the two could be alone together. If she just wrote Merula a letter, she could slip it into her bag, or under her notebook while she wasn’t looking and everything else would sort itself out later.

She spent the rest of the class writing out a long confession of her feelings on a torn out page from her book and folding it neatly. She drew a little heart on the top of the letter and tried to write Merula’s name as neatly as she could before slipping the letter carefully inside the cover of  _ Magical Drafts and Potions _ in her bag for safe keeping.

* * *

After their morning break the Slytherins had double potions with Gryffindor. This was it. A whole class sharing a desk with Merula Snyde. Jasmine’s heart was pounding as she sat in the bathroom planning out exactly the best way to get her letter to Snyde. As she opened the door to the classroom however, things were already starting to go wrong for her. The rest of her classmates were gathered around Professor Snape, who was already in the middle of explaining something to them. 

“Ah. Slytherin’s newest Prefect. Electing to grace us with your presence at last?” Snape drawled.

“McKellar does like to make an entrance.” Merula chided. 

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time…” Jasmine started, but Snape raised his hand to cut her off. 

“No need, McKellar. As I was just explaining to your more time-conscious peers, today’s class will be a little unusual for you, so it won’t take long to prepare you for it.”

Snape cleared his throat.

“Now that I have everyone’s attention, we have an infestation of Doxies in the Slytherin Common Room. It would appear that they enjoy the welcoming atmosphere.”

So that’s why the couches had been cordoned off.

“Great,” Merula said. “The last thing I need is a doxy bite.”

“As Doxycide Potion was a part of your third year curriculum,” Snape continued, “it should be no trouble for such competent wizards to now practice brewing Doxycide Potion… from memory.” 

“You Slytherins should be particularly motivated, as the potency of what you brew today will decide whether or not you will have anywhere to sit by tomorrow morning.”

Snape narrowed his eyes.

“I’ll be circulating the room to observe. Remember, you are to brew your Doxycide Potion from memory. There is to be absolutely no notes. Do not disappoint me, dealing with this infestation has put me in a rather sour mood.”

Fuck. Jasmine’s letter was still tucked away in her potions textbook, there was no way she could open that up now without Snape instantly failing her.

Jasmine took her seat between Rowan and Merula and got to work on her potion. Grinding a handful of streeler shells and chopping up some dragon liver.

“I hate this part.” Rowan said, curling his lip in disgust as he worked his knife over the dried liver.

When she had finished, Jasmine carefully extracted the acid from the bundimun in front of her and added the resulting liquid to her cauldron. She stirred the cauldron at a steady tempo and added her ground streeler shells. She glanced at her bag on the floor near the door. Then over to Merula, whose delicate fingers were deftly lifting a vial of hemlock essence.

Merula’s violet eyes flicked up.

“Don’t you dare just sit there and copy me, McKellar. I’m far ahead of you anyway.”

Jasmine quickly added her chopped dragon liver and stirred vigorously.

“What’s wrong with you anyway?” Merula asked. “You look like your mind’s on another planet.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Rowan mumbled. Merula can be as acidic as bundimun secretion sometimes.”

“Pay attention to what you’re doing, and no talking” Snape called out from somewhere behind them.

Jasmine did her best to brew the rest of her potion in silence before waving her wand over the cauldron to finish.

Once she had carefully decanted the Doxycide into a glass flask and stopped it, she turned to Rowan.

“Can I borrow your quill, Ro?” She whispered.

“My quill? What for?”

“I just need to write something down.” Jasmine said as she pulled an old ingredients label from out of her robes. It had evidently slipped from whatever bottle it had been glued to and Jasmine had managed to slip it into her pocket while Snape’s back was turned as she gathered her ingredients.

“What do you mean, Jas? Snape said ‘no notes’.” 

“I’m done brewing my potion, look. I just need to write something down quickly. Please?”

Rowan sighed and shook his head before reluctantly handing over the spare self-inking quill that he always kept in his pocket ‘for emergencies’.

Jasmine hastily scribbled something on the back of the old label and was about to slide it across the desk to Merula when she felt the looming presence of the Potions professor above her.

“And what is this, McKellar?” He never raised his voice, but Jasmine felt his words ringing through to her bones nonetheless. “I said  _ no notes _ . If you’ve happened to come across some special advantage in brewing your potion today perhaps you could share it with the rest of your peers.”

“No, please Professor! I wasn’t cheating, I swear, it hasn’t even got anything to do with Potions!”

“If it doesn’t have anything to do with potions, then what is it doing in my classroom? Give the note to me, McKellar.” Snape snatched the note from off of the desk. “If you are in fact incapable of reading aloud, I suppose it falls to me to demonstrate.” He slowly unfolded the tightly creased label. “‘Do you like me? Yes or No… Circle your answer…?’” he read.

The whole class erupted into fits of laughter and over-the-top ‘Oooooos’ and ‘Aaaaahs’.

Merula chuckled. “McKellar’s got a crush on someone? Brilliant!”

Before she could think, Jasmine was firing back. “And so what if I do Snyde? Are you hoping it’s you, you minge muncher? I saw the way you were looking at me when I took you to the Celestial Ball last year.”

What the fuck was she saying? Jasmine bit her lip, wishing she could take back her outrageous outburst.

Merula was staring at her, eyes wider than Jasmine had ever seen them. For a moment she looked genuinely hurt. 

“What!?” She stammered. “I don’t have to answer that.”

“That’s enough everyone.” Cried Snape over the evolving chaos. “Clean up your stations. Class is dismissed.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. That was not how things were supposed to go. Jasmine jumped up from her stool and hurried to grab her things, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she raced for the door.

* * *

By the time Jasmine reached the Great Hall for lunch, it felt like the entire school was already whispering about her. She grabbed a couple of sandwiches from the nearest platter on the Slytherin table and was about to take them outside to eat them away from the crowds when Rowan finally caught up with her.

“Everyone’s talking about what happened in Snape’s class already.”

“Thank’s Ro, I’m well aware of that little tidbit.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just, it was a bit of a surprise, for everyone.”

Jasmine looked up into Rowan’s eyes. He looked almost disappointed.

“Oh, I know. I should have told you about it first. I just…”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me Jas. I just wished you could have trusted me. Maybe we could have avoided making a whole scene of it in front of everyone.”

“I’m sorry, Rowan.”

Jasmine hung her head.

“Do you think that Snape meant to embarrass you like that?” 

“Oh absolutely. It doesn’t take an expert potioneer to notice that a love-letter clearly isn’t a recipe for Doxycide.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I thought you handled it rather well, standing up to Merula like that.”

Jasmine stepped back. “You thought that was handling it well?” 

“Well, it got her off your case, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, it did.” And potentially ruined everything. “What’s that matter though, everybody else is still talking. Between my brother and my curse-breaking, there’s enough rumours about me as it is, now this on top of things.” Jasmine groaned.

“Why does anybody even care who I fancy. That should be nobody's business but mine. And my crush’s I guess…”

“Jas,” Rowan said slowly, “Who  _ were _ you planning on giving that note to?” 

Jasmine could see Rowan was already working through a list of all of the boys in potions class in his head.

Thankfully, Ismelda took advantage of the pause in their conversation to interrupt.

“Everyone’s talking about how embarrassing it just was for you in Snape’s class, you know?”

“Yes, Murk, I know.”

“Looks like your secret crush isn’t so secret anymore.” Ismelda smirked.

“I’m aware of that.”

“I hope for your sake that your little note wasn’t meant for Barnaby.”

“Um, it wasn’t…”

Ismelda looked satisfied. “I bet it was for Rowan then, that’s really sad McKellar, even for you.”

As Ismelda turned and walked away Rowan’s hand brushed hers.

“Hey, Jas… it wasn’t for me, was it?” Asked Rowan. There was something in his voice. He sounded almost… hopeful?

“I’m sorry Ro, not for you.”

Rowan forced a laugh. “Oh okay, good. Because you know, I’ve totally sworn off dating anyone this year. It’s way too stressful.”

“Um, had you ever started dating?”

Rowan contorted his face in mock hurt. They both laughed.

“Come on Jas, let’s go eat somewhere a little more secluded, this is all getting a bit out of hand.”

* * *

After finishing up their lunch, Rowan and Jasmine made their way up to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. The Slytherins shared their timetable slot with Hufflepuff, and the pair of Prefects took their seats at the desk beside Tonks and Chiara.

“Jasmine, quick! You have to tell us everything!” Tonks utterly failed at whispering. 

“Um, hi? Look, maybe it hasn’t occurred to you two yet, but I’d rather not talk about how Snape just read my little note out loud to my entire Potions class. If it’s all the same to you.”

“That’s okay! We don’t want to talk about that either!”

“Yeah,” Chiara chimed in. “We’d much rather talk about who your note was for!”

The two Hufflepuffs giggled as Jasmine rolled her eyes. 

“Welcome to Defence against the Dark Arts.” Patricia Rakepick’s voice instantly commanded the girls’ attention. “Let us begin today’s lesson, shall we?”

Jasmine’s spirits actually lifted a little then. She still couldn’t believe she was getting to study under Madame Rakepick’s instruction  _ during _ school hours.

“Today we’ll be studying and learning to defend against Ghouls. Much like your previous Defence Against the Dark Arts professors, they’re relatively harmless and dimwitted. Therefore, they’re an excellent introductory subject to gauge what you have learned, or, more likely, have not learned thus far.”

The afternoon lesson seemed to fly by, and with only one or two little jabs from her rival-come-crush. Jasmine knew that as soon as it was over, her friends would want to resume their conversation though. Anticipating this, the minute that class was dismissed, she swept everything she had out into her open bag and ran for the door. Taking the stairs as fast as she could, Jasmine ignored the puzzled looks and muttered complaints of the students she pushed past before finally bursting out into the fresh air of the castle grounds.

Jasmine raced down towards the Quidditch Stadium at nearly a full sprint. Despite how desperately she wanted to get up into the air right now, there would be no practice scheduled for the first week back. But no practice was exactly what she was counting on right now. It meant that the teams' rooms would be deserted all evening. The perfect hiding spot for an hour of precious solitude before she had to report to the kitchens for her detention. 

* * *

About half an hour after Jasmine had sequestered herself in a quiet corner of the Slytherin locker room, she heard someone else making their way inside. She froze, and in walked Skye Parkin. Okay, that wasn’t so bad. Skye Parkin was two years above Jasmine and was the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team. She was also a fellow Scot, and Jasmine’s closest friend at Hogwarts save for Rowan. Skye immediately stripped off her robes, threw them onto the bench in the centre of the tent and started to unbutton her school uniform. Jasmine’s breath caught in her throat.

Skye was down to her underwear before she opened up her locker and spotted Jasmine’s reflection in the mirror fixed to the inside of the door.

“Oh fuck!” She gasped, spinning around to find Jasmine sitting with her knees to her chest in the corner. “Merlin’s beard McKellar, you absolute weapon, you scared the shite out of me!”

Jasmine just sat there in silence as Skye grabbed her team jersey and pulled it down over her head before heading over to check on her friend.

“Fuck me, McKellar, have you been crying?” Skye scoffed.

“Are you here to laugh at me too Skye? Because no word of a lie, I’ve had quite enough of that today already.”

“Oh too right, sorry. I heard about what happened to you in Potions.” 

Skye got down onto the ground beside her friend. “How are you holding up?”

“It’s so overwhelming, Skye. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve been fretting over this crush all summer, and now I finally got my chance to do something about it and I’ve gone and ballsed the whole thing up.”

“Ballsed it up? Naw, see here, now that your secret’s out, you can finally let your crush know how you feel!”

“What? After I just made such a fool of myself? What if they’re not into me? What if I ask them out and they say no?”

“But what if… you ask him out and he says  _ yes _ ? Think about it, a lot of these jessies that have been laughing at you all day are probably out there tonight wishing that your letter was meant for them. You’re a curse-breaker, and a star quidditch player. I’m sure loads of guys fancy you.”

“You really think I should go and invite my crush out, right now, with the whole school watching?

“Well I dinnae say that, but you shouldn’t be afraid to ask him out next time you get him alone. I’m just saying don’t give up! Just, maybe do it in person. No more letters, hey?”

“Alright Skye. Hey, thanks for the pep talk.”

“What else are captains for?”

Jasmine smiled. “I’m really glad you’re my captain this year Parkin.” She stood up. “I’d better get going though, if I start missing my nightly detention Dumbledore’ll probably force Hooch to cut me from the quidditch team.”

“Right, we definitely can’t have that! On yer way with ye!” Skye gave Jasmine a sharp slap square on her buttock and she stumbled forward. 

“And go get him Jas, this mystery crush, he’ll be graftin’ for you already, I know it!”

Jasmine rolled her eyes as she stepped out of the change room. ‘He’ wouldn’t be graftin’ for anyone. ‘He’ didn’t exist at all… Merula on the other hand. Well, she had genuinely seemed upset at Jasmine’s outburst. Maybe she  _ was  _ hoping that the note was for her… 

* * *

Skye served out her first of many detention shifts in the kitchens beneath the Great Hall. She helped the house-elves prepare the evening meal, peeling carrots and potatoes for roasting. By the time she hung her apron and stepped back out into the dungeons her hands were red, raw, dry and sore. She headed back to her dorm and quickly changed back into her robes before hurrying back upstairs to join her peers.

No sooner had she taken her seat next to Rowan, Liz and Barnaby than she caught sight of Merula sitting across the table about ten places to her left, sniggering at something that one of the trio of third year girls she was with had said. 

“Don’t let them get to you Jas,” Liz said. “It’s not worth it, just eat something. Things will settle down.” 

“Thanks, Lizard. But I’d rather finish this myself.” 

Jasmine sucked in a big gulp of air and stood up. She crossed the distance to where Merula was sitting in a few long paces and slammed her fist down on the table that it knocked on of the third year’s goblets right over, spilling red juice all over the table.

“Having a laugh at my expense again, Snyde?” she demanded. “Yes, Snape caught me writing a note in class. Yes, I was going to give it to someone I fancy. I still fail to see what exactly is so funny about that though!

“Um, actually, we were just laughing at Rowan’s latest fashion statement.” Murula stated, bluntly.

“Yeah, he looks like he’s getting ready to read fortunes at a muggle circus or something!” one of the third year girls chirped, sending the other into another fit of giggles. 

Jasmine’s blood boiled.

“Right, well, that’s completely out of order. I should dock 10 house points from each of you right now. Fortunately for you, I actually care about the people in my house, and I don’t want to see us all lose 40 points, all before the end of our first day back. If any of you so much as whisper that nonsense again though, you’d better believe I’ll be taking it up with our head of house.”

Jasmine shook her head and tossed Merula a look of disgust before turning to leave. Whatever appetite she had left after today was gone now. She’d head back to the common room and get a head start on trying to force some sleep.

“McKellar, wait!”

It was Merula. Jasmine turned back to see her literally walking up over the table to get to her.

“Look, McKellar, I didn’t realise that Khanna meant so much to you. You know she didn’t really mean anything by it though, right? We were just having a laugh.”

“That’s not okay, Snyde. Rowan’s a really great guy, and he’s one of the best wizards in our house. He deserves better than your pathetic racist jokes.” 

“Oh… Did he say yes then?” Merula asked, quietly.

“Did he say what?”

“Rowan, when you told him the note was about him, did he say he liked you back?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So he rejected you? Honestly I’m not surprised. It’s a bit pathetic that you’re still standing up for him though.”

“You’re a real piece of work Snyde, but you know what, when I actually do ask out my crush, I promise you this much, you’ll be the first one to know about it.”


	3. It’s always been her

The ordeal that was her first day back at Hogwarts finally over, Jasmine had crashed into bed a good three hours before light’s out. Unable to sleep, she’d lay there fuming over what Merula had said for a solid two before heading to the showers and spending the remaining hour sobbing beneath a constant stream of hot water. 

The next morning, Jasmine slept in, waking well past breakfast to an otherwise empty dorm room. That was one small blessing at least. She dragged herself out of bed, squeezed into her dark, drainpipe jeans and threw on a faded tank top before tying off a lose-knit black jumper around her waist. She then grabbed her sports gear and shoved it into the bottom of her bag. She needed a run, bad.

She made her way down to the Quidditch Stadium and into the Slytherin locker room. As she changed, she took note of the mess of clothes strewn on the bench beside her. Of course Skye would be training this morning as well, when was she ever not?

* * *

Jasmine made her way out onto the pitch where Skye had already managed to work up a sweat in the cold morning air. The younger witch couldn’t help but admire her captain’s athletic body as she stopped what she was working on and jogged over.

“Haw! McKellar! Bonnie morning for a run, let’s go!” 

Jasmine scoffed, sending a cloud of condensed water vapour into the air in front of her.

“I’m just here to clear my head, Skye.”

Skye impatiently jogged on the spot in front of her while she did some quick stretches.

“What’s on your mind? I mean, aside from the whole school knowin’ about your secret crush?”

“It’s nothing. Something Merula said last night.”

“That bampot? Forget her, come on!”

Jasmine set off at a jog and started making her way around the edge of the Quidditch Pitch. Skye was right beside her from the start, and she was constantly speeding up so that she would pull ahead and force Jasmine to keep up. 

“So did you ask out your date yet?” Skye asked between her rhythmic, purposeful breaths.

“I wasn’t really in the mood, Skye.”

“How no? Come on McKellar, it’s not like you to let something Merula said hold you back.”

Jasmine spat to her side as she pushed herself harder. She really had wanted to ask Merula out last night. How was she supposed to do that now though? Hearing her laughing at the things those racist girls were saying. Knowing that she couldn’t even see that she’d crossed a line. 

“Hey now McKellar. Merula’s always trying to stir you up. I’ve never seen you let that hold you back before.” Skye tried to cheer up her friend.

“I know, let’s plan your first date! If you’ve got something to look forward to, maybe that’ll be the motivation you need to finally make your move!”

Shit. Jasmine hadn’t even thought of that. The first visits to Hogsmeade wouldn’t even be running for another few months, and she definitely wasn’t going to wait that long. Where in the castle could she possibly spend some quality time with a date? Especially now that the whole school had their eyes on her.

Skye must have seen the panic on her face because she quickly interjected. “Come on, there’s loads of places around the school that some of the teachers don’t even know about! I’m sure a curse-breaker like you can think of a few secluded spots for a date!”

“I don’t really know if any of my usual hiding spots qualify as good destinations for a romantic getaway, Skye.” 

“Come off it, it doesn’t have to be perfect! I mean, oh shit!”

“What!” Jasmine jumped.

“I mean, I think I’ve got it! There _is_ a perfect spot for a date in Hogwarts, and we’re already here!”

Jasmine looked over at Skye’s beaming face. “Are you mad? The Quidditch Stadium?”

“Think about it McKellar! I mean, if it was me, I’d say yes in a heartbeat.”

“Wait what?” Jasmine let out an awkward cough. “Skye, why would you say it was you? Why would you think that? Who even said I like girls? Are people saying that now too, have you heard something?”

“Woah, steady on Jas, what the fuck’s gotten into you? You know that’s not how I meant it.” She tilted her head, puzzled. “I was just saying that this is where I would want to go, if anyone ever did bother to ask me out. Just picture it, alright. A Beautiful moonlit night, the stars shining overhead, the stands all to yourselves. I might even be able to arrange a few brooms to get ‘accidentally’ left out overnight, you ken?”

Jasmine thought it over in her head. It certainly was a braw idea. She took a long breath in and out and slowed her pace as she steadied herself as best she could. “I’m sorry Skye, it’s just, the thing is, I think it is a girl, actually” she confessed.

Skye stopped dead and Jasmin nearly fell face first into the pitch trying to bring herself to a stop alongside her as she turned to face her friend.

“No. No way, no fucking way.” Skye was shaking her head in disbelief.

Jasmine suddenly felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. Had she made a wrong call. What if she’d gotten it wrong. Maybe coming out to Skye had been a mistake. Was she about to get her head kicked in by her own team captain? All of these thoughts raced through her head.

“Hold on…” Skye looked hesitant. “It's _no_ fuckin’ me is it?”

“Oh get it up ye Skye, get it right fuckin’ up ye.” Jasmine shook her head angrily. 

“Why the fuck would I be writing a note to you in my fifth year Potions class?” She shouted, her voice echoing through the empty stands.

“Oh aye. I guess that doesn’t make much sense” The older girl rubbed the back of her head. “It’s just, the other day I was changin’ right there in front of you an’ all...”

Jasmine took a step toward her captain. Skye’s blue-tipped hair was dripping with sweat. The veins in her arms and legs popped and her muscles quivered after her morning routine.

“Shit Skye, I’m sorry about that. You’re a braw lass, I mean, you’re gallus, but it’s not you.”

Skye closed her eyes, she looked relieved. “Who is it then? Haywood, Lobosca? Don’t tell me it’s Murk?”

“It’s not, It’s not any of them. It’s Merula.” Jasmine said plainly, holding her palms out wide in surrender.

“Oh now you’re talkin’ pish, McKellar, that sleekit hoore!? What about what happened last night?”

Jasmine felt herself tense up.

“Don’t be an arse Skye, come on. I'm no lyin’. It’s her. It’s always been her.”

“Shite, Jasmine.”

Skye had both of her hands behind her head now and she was pacing back and forth across the pitch.

“Okay, okay. It’s okay. We can fix this.” She muttered. “Who have you told?”

“What? No one. Just you.”

“Okay, great! Let’s let this be the end of it then okay?”

“What the fuck are you talking about Skye?”

“What the fuck…? Are you fucking kidding me? What am _I_ talking about? You’ve just told me that not only are you a fucking muff-diver, but that you’re fucking gaggin’ for a taste of the most hackit gash in the whole school!”

“Git tae fuck Skye, yer bawz!”

“Awa’ an bile yer heid, ya radge wee shite.”

Jasmine lunged forward, taking a swing at Skye’s head but the larger girl stepped to the side and grabbed her by the wrist. Pulling her in, Skye wrapped her rock hard arms around Jasmin’s chest from behind, pinning her own arms to her side. 

Skye’s voice came hot against her ear. “McKellar, stop it! Listen to me. Gay kids are fucking dying out there. Every fucking day, they’re dying. Do you really want that to be you? You have a choice right now, you don’t have to go that way.”

Jasmine kicked back into Skye’s shin and broke free from her vice-like grip.

“I’m not making a fucking choice Skye! I can’t choose the way I feel about her!”

This time it was Skye that lunged at Jasmine. She grabbed her by both shoulders and pulled her so close that Jasmine could make out the individual freckles dotting Skye’s face. 

“Some weegie cunt got her fucking head caved in last week, Jas. The world isn’t a safe place to be gay right now, I’m sorry, but it just isn’t.”

“I ken that Skye, fuck.” Jasmine tried to shake herself free. “I… I was there.” 

“You… what?” Skye said quietly, her rant coming to as abrupt an end as her jog had earlier.

“I was there, in Glasgow. I saw it. And yeah, you know what, it could have been me, I get it. But you have to understand that that’s not a reason to fucking hide away for me. I’m still here, and there’s so much in this world that’s uncertain right now, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to say that. But I do know the way that Merula makes me feel, so if there’s any chance that she might feel the same way too, then I have to take that chance. Right now. Before it’s too late for us.”

Jasmine stood, staring up into Skye's slate green eyes. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

“Fuck, McKellar… I’m sorry.”

Skye slid her hands to the back of Jasmine’s neck and pressed her forehead into hers. 

“I’m really sorry, I… I just want you to be safe, you ken? My cousin, he’s, well he’s like you I guess. And he’s sick McKellar, he’s really fucking sick right now.” Skye’s voice took on an uncharacteristic waver. “We think we might lose him Jas… I don’t want to lose you too.”

Jasmine closed her eyes and pushed back. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Skye.” She broke off the hug that Skye had pulled her into. “I mean, I don’t want to. I really do want to go on this date though. Can you please just give me that, just to see what it might be like?”

Skye dropped her hands and stepped back.

“All right then, fine. But Jas, promise me, don’t do anything stupid. And please try not to draw too much attention to yourself okay?”

“Well that’s not going to be easy.” Jasmine scoffed. “Did you see the state of the school yesterday?”

“Well, I guess that’s one thing that’s good about it being Merula then hey?”

“What?”

“Even if she does like you back, no one’s gonna bloody believe it.”

* * *

Jasmine’s head was spinning, and the next few hours seemed to pass in a blur. 

She made her way back to the Great Hall for lunch after she and Skye had finished training together. Once she got there she took a seat with the other members of the Slytherin quidditch team. They almost never talked about each other's lives outside of the game and today, thankfully, wasn’t an exception. After skipping the last two meals, her stomach was ravenous and she devoured two whole meat pies, as well as a huge mound of chips with a side of baked sprouts and fried tomatoes. The team bickered amongst themselves for a while as they discussed the latest standings on the British and Irish Quidditch League table. For a short while it almost felt like a normal day back at Hogwarts, except for the fact that Skye kept nervously making eye contact with her from across the table to make sure she was alright. 

After lunch, Jasmine snuck back downstairs through the dungeons and into the Slytherin Common Room. A few second year students were taking advantage of the newly Doxy free furnishings, while a group of seventh year students studied around a large table. 

Jasmine had been hoping she might run into Merula somewhere ever since she’d gotten back from training. Her argument with Skye had cemented one thing in her head. She _wanted_ Merula. Something about her rival had awakened something deep within her, a yearning that could not be quenched. Not by the disapproval of her peers, not by any fleeting offences that Merula herself might have committed, not even the threat of an early death, at the hands of the virus spreading throughout her country or the unchecked violence that it was fueling. Jasmine needed to feed that yearning. She needed to find Merula, and confess her attraction to her.

Frustratingly, Jasmine’s yearning was also accompanied with a deep feeling of shame, a shame that was keeping her from searching the more populated areas of the castle for her crush. Reluctantly she settled for a more isolated afternoon, and made her way through the common room towards her dorm. Finding her dorm room empty, Jasmine let out a huge sigh. The weight of the food in her stomach had settled her spinning head, but she could definitely do without the company of her peers. At least those who weren't named Merula Snyde.

“ _Colloportus,_ ” she spoke the locking charm as she waved her wand over the dormitory door.

Jasmine draped her jumper over the end of her bed and pulled off her shirt before letting herself fall back onto her mattress. After settling into a comfortable position, she reached out toward the terrarium on her bedside table and slowly unlatched the door. She left her hand by the tiny glass doorway and before too long, felt the tentative taps of her pet tarantula coming out to play.

She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing as she felt the tickle of eight hairy little legs making their way up onto her hand and down her arm. She let out a deep sigh as her curious companion worked her way over to her shoulder and then onto her bare chest. Her heart was racing, and she arched her back toward the ceiling, coaxing her spider down lower. She inhaled sharply as tiny claws started to tickle the soft skin of her stomach.

Jasmine had never done playtime with Ember at Hogwarts before and the thrill of the spider’s touch did wonders to calm her nerves. She gasped as she felt her pet’s first exploratory steps onto her lower abdomen and gently reached down to let her fingertips fondle the top of her jeans, sliding them down past her hips. She let out a low moan as she let the excitement of her little game overwhelm her.

* * *

Feeling a little more at ease, Jasmine walked through the dungeon corridors toward the kitchen for her second night of detention. Her first shift had been incredibly dull, and she wasn’t much looking forward to repeating the ordeal, but she supposed she had to get used to it sooner or later.

At least tonight, Jasmine got to sample a taste of her handiwork. She sat down in her usual place between Rowan and Liz not too long after the food had been served, receiving a look of surprise from her friends.

“Gosh Jas, where have you been?”

“Detention, remember? Every night.” Jasmine groaned.

“He means that we haven’t seen you all day!”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry Ro, Liz, I just haven’t really had the appetite for conversation lately.”

“I guess that’s fair,” said Rowan. “Everyone is desperate to find out who your crush is.”

“It’s a real shame though Jas, Hagrid invited me down to his hut for rock cakes today and he had the most adorable litter of crup puppies with him. We could have gone down together.”

“Oh, Liz, that does sound really sweet. I think I just needed some alone time though.”

“If you want some alone time, you should check out the Prefect bathroom.” Rowan interrupted. “Bill Weasly showed his brother Charlie and I around it today, it’s brilliant!” 

“The Prefect bathroom?” Jasmine had never heard of it before.

“Oh, Jasmine, you _have_ to check it out. It’s up on the fifth floor, just look for the statue of old Boris the Bewildered and then it’s four doors down to the left. You’ll need a password for the door though.”

Rowan lent in and whispered the words ‘ _sea breeze_ ’ in her ear. 

“Go, you won’t regret it.” 

Jasmine smiled. She reached forward and spooned some peas and carrots onto her plate. She took two boiled potatoes and a serving of roast beef before smothering her whole plate in thick mushroom gravy. It was good to have an appetite again.

As she stuffed her face with a fork-full of meat, she caught Merula walking in late out of the corner of her eye. Her heart began to beat faster. 

Rowan noticed her starting to stare. “Hey, I heard about what you did last night, standing up for me against her.” 

Jasmine snapped her gaze back to the plate in front of her, then up to Rowan’s gentle eyes.

“I wanted to thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”

“It was nothing,” Jasmine said through a mouthful of beef.

“Ergh, could you not?” Liz bauked in disgust. Liz’s plate was piled high with green beans roast vegetables, the last thing she wanted to see was Jasmine’s half-chewed meat.

“Sorry Lizard,” Jasmine mumbled from behind a raised hand.

As the trio finished up their dinner, Rowan turned to face Jasmine.

“Jas, don’t forget, you're on patrol tonight. The roster should be up on the Common Room notice board if you haven’t checked it already.”

Right. 

* * *

Jasmine returned to her dorm after wolfing down a fair sized portion of sticky-date pudding. She changed into her school robes and pinned her Prefect badge over her collarbone. Her eyes flicked to Ember, dozing peacefully in her terrarium and she smiled to herself. She wondered about how Merula’s hands might compare to the titillating footfalls of her eight legged friend. Her face flushed as she imagined those delicate hands slipping up under her robes and making their way up to cup the two tiny mounds on her chest.

She hurried back into the common room and found the roster Rowan had been referring to. _Week One Prefect Patrol Schedule_. She checked and found her name assigned to the third floor. It looked like there would be a lot of Prefects on duty tonight, probably to keep the first years from getting too carried away on their first Saturday night at Hogwarts.

Suddenly she felt a presence behind her. Before she could react, Skye’s hot breath was in her ear again. 

“Looks like you’re off Monday night. I’ll leave the pitch unlocked. There’ll be two brooms waiting for you in the Slytherin locker room.”

“Parkin, you stoater.”

“Go get her, McKellar.”

Skye ruffled Jasmine’s mousy hair as she raced off to join some other seventh years on the couches. 

Jasmine fixed her hair and made her way to the third floor. Her captain’s blessing warmed her heart as she fought the chill of the empty corridors. She didn’t see anyone at all the whole time she was up there. She expected the fifth years had been given the lower trafficked areas by whoever had set the schedule. By the time she got back to her room the rest of her dormmates were already fast asleep. Jasmine quietly changed into her night things and sat down at the edge of her bed. Illuminated by the gentle light of her wand, she watched Merula, curled up in the bed opposite her. Merula looked so soft while she slept, so vulnerable. 

Why did she have to be so incredibly irritating while she was awake?


	4. Now or never

Sunday morning was a chilly one, especially in the dungeons. Jasmine pulled her woolen jumper over the Wigtown Wanderers jersey she’d worn to bed, grabbed her toiletries bag and a towel and made her way to the girls’ bathroom.

She stood in her shower cubicle letting the magically heated water wash over her head. As she let the hot water scold her shoulders red, she reflected over everything that had happened over the last two days.

How had everything gone so wrong? Had she really used a lesbian slur against Merula? Was Rowan actually disappointed the letter wasn’t meant for him? How did Skye really feel about her now that she knew she liked girls? 

She heard the door to the bathroom swing open and shut, then a moment later the sounds of the shower in the cubicle next to hers sputtering into life and the cubicle door latching shut.

“That you, McKellar?” 

Oh. Shit.

“How did you know?”

“I saw you leaving the dorm. Nice jersey by the way. Does Parkin know you’re so hot for her dad that you wear his merchandise to sleep?”

“Ethan _gave_ me that jersey, after we won the Quidditch Cup last year Snyde, you know that.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re not wet for him… Say, speaking of pathetic crushes, I’m sure that you’ve had time to ask your real crush out by now,” Merula mused. 

“You did promise me that I would be the first one to hear about it once you had, so out with it then, it was a total disaster wasn’t it?”

“No I, I haven’t asked yet. I was… I decided to plan out a potential date for us first.” 

Jasmine could feel the butterflies in her stomach. This was it. The two of them alone at last. Her heart was pounding, her head spinning. Why did the steam in the shower make it so hard to breathe? She felt like she was about to pass out.

“You planned out your date first? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a colossal waste of time, McKellar. You know, Professor Rakepick gave me some private Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons yesterday, so there’s no way you’ll ever get to be on my level now.”

So that’s where she’d been hiding.

“What’s the point of planning for a date you don’t even have? Your crush is bound to say no anyway.”

Jasmine took a big gulp of air. It was now or never.

“Well, I guess I’m about to find that out.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, McKellar? Is he in here with us or something?”

“Um, kind of? In a way… It’s… it’s you Snyde. I’m asking you.”

There was silence from the other cubicle. Then the sudden shudder of the water shutting off, the unlatching of the door. Jasmine was sure she’d blown it.

A loud knocking on her cubicle door startled her back to her senses.

“Out. Now.” Merula demanded.

Fuck. Jasmine quickly shut off the shower and grabbed her towel, wrapping it tightly before slowly opening the door.

Merula was standing in front of her, the deep green of her towel contrasting perfectly against her pale skin. She was glistening wet, dripping water forming a puddle on the cold slate beneath her, and her hair hung heavy, sticking to her face around her cheeks. 

“What did you just say?” She spoke forcefully, but her voice was more hushed now.

“I’m asking you, Merula. Out. On the date. You’re my crush.” Jasmine stammered.

It was one of the few times Jasmine had seen Merula truly caught off guard. Her jaw dropped, her violet eyes were wide.

“I’m your crush?!”

Merula stepped forward and shoved Jasmine backwards into the door behind her, rattling it on its hinges.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me that before, at dinner on Friday night?”

“You mean the dinner where I had just emerged from the most painstakingly boring detention of my entire life only to find you laughing your arse off at the expense of my best friend in the whole school?” Jasmine pushed off the door and stepped forward, standing up straighter, taking advantage of her height to look a lot tougher than she felt at that moment. 

“Oh, right...” Merula grimaced. “I _am_ sorry about that McKellar. It’s just, Murk was so convinced that your note was for Rowan, I guess, part of me felt… jealous. Then when those girls started making fun of him, it just felt kind of good to go along with it.”

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to, Snyde.”

Merula looked uncomfortable.

“So the note that Snape read in Potions class on Friday, that _was_ meant for me.”

“Yeah.”

“You called me a ‘minge muncher’.”

“Yeah…” 

Jasmine focussed intently on the slate flooring, desperately avoiding those piercing violet eyes.

“You can be a real bitch sometimes, McKellar.”

“Look who’s talking.” Jasmine scoffed. “Look, Merula, I… fancy you. You drive me bonkers sometimes, but I can’t stop wanting you. Merlin _knows_ I’ve tried.”

Jasmine chanced a glance back at Merula. She could already feel the tears welling up at the corners of her eyes.

“If you want to call me a filthy dyke now, go ahead. Fuck it, beat the shit out of me right here, I won’t stop you.”

Jasmine felt a knot in her stomach the size of a quaffle. She closed her eyes and winced, preparing for whatever came next.

After what seemed like forever, she flicked her eyes open again.

“Say something at least. Please”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t make me say it twice.”

“Yes what? What the fuck is yes, Snyde?”

“Ugh! Must you make me spell everything out for you? My answer is yes, McKellar, to the bloody date. I’ll go out with you… I _want_ to go out with you.”

Jasmin’s heart nearly burst. Her legs went to jelly.

“You… you _want_ to…?” 

“Merlin’s beard, you are thick. Yes! I fucking _want_ to McKellar. Didn’t you hear me? I’ve been so sick with jealousy this past two days I could’ve fucking killed you.”

Fuck.

“You mean, you like girls then?”

“I like _you_.” Merula rolled her eyes. “I have for a while…”

Jasmine closed her own eyes and let out a long, slow exhale.

“I was so nervous you were going to say ‘no’.”

“I was so sure you’d written that note for somebody else.”

Merula stepped forward slowly. Suddenly her body was pressed up against Jasmine’s. She could feel the damp of their towels, the cold of their bare shoulders grazing each other, Merula’s wet cheek brushing against her neck.

They were almost hugging, if either of them had engaged their arms. Instead they just stood there, their bodies leaning into one another.

Jasmine’s heart fluttered being in such close proximity to Merula’s at last.

Merula’s breath was cool against Jasmine’s skin, still warm from the shower.

After some time, Merula peeled herself back and looked up into Jasmine’s hazel eyes.

“What’s this disaster of a date you have planned then, McKellar?”

Jasmine tried to bring her thoughts into order.

“I thought, well, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to come to the Quidditch Stadium with me?”

“You want me to sit and watch you training?”

“No. Well, if you’d like. But no, that’s not what I mean.” Jasmine struggled to find the words.

“I thought we could sneak in, after dinner tomorrow night. Quidditch season hasn’t started yet so it’ll be totally deserted down there. Skye even said she could leave some brooms out for us if you like.” 

Merula tensed. “Don’t tell me your whole little gang knows about this already.”

“No. Just Skye. I just needed her help to organise everything.”

“Okay, good. That’s… okay. Don’t you dare tell anyone else.” 

Her eyes narrowed.

“If anything about this gets back to my family… I don’t need another reason for my Aunt to hate me, alright?”

“It’s okay Snyde. I don’t think my parents would be too happy either. I think it’s best for both of us if nobody else finds out.”

Merula seemed satisfied with that.

“So is it a date? I can meet you outside the training grounds after dinner if you want?”

“Err…” Merula looked hesitant. “I’m sorry, it’s just, rehearsals are starting back up for Frog Choir this week, we usually don’t wrap up until around a quarter to ten…”

Jasmine’s heart sunk. 

“Why don’t we just sneak down there tonight?”

“I can’t. All of the Prefects are on double shifts at the moment to make sure the first years don’t get up to anything over their first weekend at Hogwarts.”

“Shit. Okay, fine. Tomorrow night. I’ll meet you out by the gatehouse in the training grounds. I’ll try and get there by ten o’clock. But if I show up and you’re not there, this whole thing is off, and I _will_ make your year hell for it.” 

“Okay. Deal. I’ll be there, I promise.” Jasmine said, sincerely.

“You’d better be. Now piss off. I was starting to enjoy that shower and I’d like to finish up before it’s too late to get breakfast.” 

* * *

Jasmine felt as if she was walking on air as she made her way up to the Great Hall. She sat down at the Slytherin table and shortly afterwards found herself surrounded by a pack of first year girls.

She listened to the girls regale her with stories of their weekend adventures as she piled her plate high with black pudding, sausages, half a tomato and some potato scones. Topping her plate with a ladle of baked beans and a fried egg, she did her best to soothe their worries about the week ahead. She caught Skye’s eye as she dug into her Sunday breakfast and met her inquisitive stare with an enthusiastic thumbs up. 

After breakfast she had only just made it outside of the Great Hall when she felt an arm linking in to hers from behind.

“Let’s walk.”

It was Chiara Lobosca.

Jasmine held on tightly as the Hufflepuff guided her outside and across the bridge to the East Wing. 

“I’m sorry for the way Tonks and I acted the other day. We might have gotten a little bit too excited for you.”

“Thank you, it’s okay. It all got a bit out of hand didn’t it?”

“Are you doing okay now though?” Chiara inquiered, gently.

“Now? Yeah you could say I’m doing pretty well.”

“Oh?” Chiara perked up.

“I can’t say much more than that, sorry.”

Chiara smiled over at her. 

“Hmmm,” she pondered, lost in mock thought though she clearly had something on her mind already.

“I’m guessing that Jasmine’s secret crush has maybe graduated to become Jasmine’s secret date?”

“You might say that,” Jasmine smiled.

“Oh well that’s brilliant Jas!” Chiara squeezed her arm.

“Thanks Chi.”

After a brief lull in the conversation they stepped outside onto the castle grounds.

“I take it that I’m not going to get a name then?”

“Er, no, sorry. We thought it was best if we didn’t make things public.” 

“That’s fair I suppose. You do seem to get enough attention from the Hogwarts rumour mill as it is.”

Jasmine scrunched up her nose in a ‘yeah, it’s not great’ way and Chiara obligingly dropped the topic.

“Well then, let’s talk about something else!. Did you manage to get your ears around any new music over the summer?”

“Oh yeah! Shit I almost forgot to tell you, everything’s been so hectic. Eilidh finally got her hands on that record you were talking about last year.”

“Oh, _Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me_?”

“Um, not that one, wasn’t it ‘Strangeways’ something?”

“Oh _Strangeways, Here We Come_ , yeah aces. It sucks that The Smiths split up though.”

“Yeh, Elilidh was pretty cut up about it too…”

Chiara frowned. 

“It’s so wild you’re into muggle music, Jas.”

“Look, it’s that or listen to the shite my parents play on the WWN.” 

“Fair point, I forgot they don’t let you have your own wireless.”

“Yeah, I’m just glad Eilidh’s folks aren’t as strict with her record player.”

Jasmine paused to watch the trees of the forbidden forest swaying in the breeze. With the sun on her face she was starting to feel like herself again for the first time since arriving at hogwarts. 

“Let’s go for a run.” She smacked Chiara’s arm as she took off ahead of her. 

Chiara laughed and started to chase her.

* * *

  
  


After lunch, Rowan and Liz invited Jasmine to come along with them to the library. They were meeting with a couple of their Ravenclaw friends, Tulip Karasu and Badeea Ali. The two girls wanted to get a head start on their Defence Against the Dark Arts homework by looking over the Slytherins’ notes from Friday’s class. Their first class wouldn’t be until tomorrow afternoon, after the Slytherin’s had already had their second, but Badeea was happy to get any advantage she could, and Tulip, well Tulip mostly just wanted to spend some time with her friends. 

Jasmine did her best to deflect any questions regarding her love life while the group unpacked their books. Thankfully they were only a few, and Rowan soon cut off any further discussion by excitedly diving into his extensive notes on the habitat and history of Ghouls. He winked over at Jaz as he did so and a wave of gratitude washed over her. 

“Thank you,” she mouthed at him.

Once the trio had finished going over their notes for the Ravenclaws they moved to the back of the Library and played through their own mini wizard’s chess tournament until it was time for Jasmine to make her way down to the kitchens for another night of peeling potatoes.

* * *

That night, Jasmine was responsible for patrolling the fifth floor. She spent a good half hour wandering the corridors, shining her wand into various nooks and crannies. By the third time she walked past the statue of Boris the Bewildered though, her curiosity was starting to get the better of her.

Where was the harm in taking a quick peak? She hadn’t seen a soul, nor heard any suspicious noises since she started. Her last shift had been completely desolate all night. No one would miss her if she slipped inside the Prefect’s bathroom for a little while, would they? 

Eventually Jasmine could resist the urge no longer. She circled back to the statue and made her way from there to the door Rowan had described. She tried the handle, it wouldn’t budge. Leaning into the door she whispered “Sea breeze,” as her friend had instructed her.

She heard a clicking sound and the door slowly swung open, creaking on its hinges. The sound seemed deafening in the silent corridor, but pausing to see whether anyone had heard, the corridor soon returned to its quiet stillness.

Satisfied, Jasmine quickly slipped inside. She closed the door behind her as softly as she could and was pleased to see it could be bolted from her side. No chance of anyone walking in on her. Good. She secured the bolt in place and finally turned to survey the room.

To her right, she was surprised to see a ring of sinks and two rows of toilet stalls sitting off in a narrow annex. It looked much like any other bathroom in Hogwarts. She couldn’t imagine a scenario where so many Prefects would all need to use the loo at the same time, and all within close proximity of the 5th floor bathroom, but it was nice to have the capacity should the need arise she supposed.

Looking to her left it became evident why Rowan had been so excited about this room though. A step up in the marble floor led to a large sunken bathtub, more like a small swimming pool really. Above the bathtub was what looked like it would be a gorgeous stained glass window. From what she could make out, the focal point seemed to be a beautiful mermaid. Unfortunately the full effect was lost with no light from outside to illuminate it.

Around a hundred different golden taps surrounded the pool-like bath, all studded with their own unique jewels. Jasmine tried a few and found that several of them let out streams of coloured water and white foam while others produced flows of different soaps, shampoos and hair conditioners, sweet smelling oils and a variety of differently scented bath salts. 

Beside the bath she found a low table piled high with bathrobes and towels. Running her fingers across them she was blown away by how soft and silky they felt. She leaned back against the wall beside the table and stared into the bath. Did she have time to try it out? She didn’t need to be back in the common room until midnight… 

After a very brief debate with herself, she began to fill the bath with sparkling rose coloured water and a generous helping of frothing white bubbles. Incredibly, the bathtub began to fill up a lot faster than it appeared it would. Yeah, she definitely had time.

She removed her robes and hung them on a hook by the door, then carefully undressed and folded her clothes, leaving them in a neat stack on the low table.

Sliding into the pool, Jasmine moaned as the warmth of the water flooded through her. She waded out into the centre of the water, a flock of bubbles trailing her arms as she went. Once she stood in the deepest point, she looked up to see that the stained glass of the windows was magically illuminated, and now the mermaid within appeared to act out a short bathing scene.

Jasmine sunk down beneath the surface and swam back to the edge of the bath. Emerging from the sparkling water, she pushed her hands up over her face to clear her wet hair from her eyes.

The water was already nearing the level of the floor and she slid over to the running taps to turn them off. 

Pressing her back up against the wall of the bath, she slid down until she was neck deep and closed her eyes. This was definitely the spot to come next time she needed to be alone. A thought occurred to her. Perhaps she didn’t _have_ to be alone next time. 

She sighed deeply as she let her hands explore her delicate skin under the water. She imagined they were Merula’s hands. She played through a scenario in her mind. She would invite Merula up to the fifth floor after class one day and take her into the Prefect’s bathroom. Merula would choose a selection of taps to fill the bath with. They would undress, climb into the water, then she would take Merula into her arms.

Jasmine imagined the feel of Merula’s lips on hers as she slid her hand between her legs. She gasped as she thought of the other witch’s tongue slipping into her mouth. She slipped her own finger inside herself and rocked it back and forth. Her breaths came slow and heavy, she could feel beads of sweat forming on her brow. She let out a tiny wimper, and then a low moan. In her mind, Merula’s lips worked their way down her neck as her hand crept down her waste and into place as it started to mimic Jasmine’s own actions. She squeezed her hand between her thighs as she pushed her finger up harder against the walls within her.

Her muscles began to twitch. She drew in sharp gasps of air between the involuntary whimpers and grunts that forced their way up from her very core. She tried to hold off on her climax, but the idea of Merula’s hand over her vulva, her fingers curling up inside of her as she thrust her hips down against them, that thought broke her. She relinquished herself to the throws of her pleasure, arching her back and letting out a short and sharp scream which echoed around the marble room. Jasmine prayed that the bathroom was under the effects of some form of quietening charm.

A few moments later, once the blood had made its way back to her head and her legs had stopped tingling, Jasmine reluctantly removed herself from the water and made her way over to the towels. 

Having dried off as best she could, she strode to her robes and retrieved her wand, casting a quick incantation to produce a wave of hot hair to finish drying through her hair.

* * *

Dressed and freshened up, Jasmine slipped back out of the bathroom as quietly as she had entered. She figured she had about an hour left on her shift. She had definitely had time. She was glad she had used it. She re-lit her wand and made her way down the corridor to the next junction and turned right. 

Suddenly, she was face to face with Merula Snyde. 

“Where the bloody hell have you been?” Merula whispered.

“Snyde? What are you doing here?”

“What do you think I’m doing? I came to see you.” 

“But… how did you know I’d be here?”

“This morning, you said you had Prefect duty tonight. The schedules are posted up for everyone to read. They said you were up here on the fifth floor. It’s fairly straight forward, McKellar.” Merula said flatly.

“Okay the… So then why did you want to see me?” Jasmine asked slowly.

“McKellar, just because we’ve arranged a date for tomorrow, doesn’t mean that we have to ignore each other tonight.”

Oh. Right.

Jasmine’s mind was still processing the fact that Merula could actually _want_ to spend time with her.

“Wow… okay. Um, cool.”

Merula just stood and stared at her, her skin a fresh white against the inky blackness of the corridor stretching out behind her. 

Jasmine blushed.

Merula looked good. By the light of her wand, Jasmine could make out a crushed velvet skirt over dark tights, paired with a tight, black, long sleeved top that clung to her slender frame. She had made some effort before coming up to find her, that much was obvious.

“So, where _have_ you been? I feel like I’ve been wandering around up here forever.”

“Oh. Um, the Prefect’s private bathroom is on this floor.” Flashes of her fantasy erupted to the surface of Jasmine’s mind. “I, er, I had a bath.”

“Hmm,” a soft smirk crossed Merula’s face. “Sounds nice.”

“It was…”

Jasmine’s could feel her heart pounding, her pulse quickened.

“Snyde… could we, um, could we hug again?”

“I… I’d like that.”

Merula stepped forward again, pressing her body into Jasmine’s. Her round face burrowed into the taller girl’s neck and Jasmine could feel the warmth of her breath sliding down the front of her robe.

Jasmine was surprised to find how similarly Merula smelled to her muggle friends back in Glasgow. That same fresh nail polish, mixed with the lingering sweet, spiced smokiness of cigarettes laced with clove. There was something different about Merula though, something deeper. A base scent that overpowered Jasmine and filled her with an almost animalistic urge to press her body in closer.

Slowly, tentatively, Jasmine raised her arm, moving her right hand up, searching for Merula’s left. She felt Merula flinch as their fingertips met. Her breath was coming in quick in-and-out bursts. Merula’s fingers slowly twisted around hers, she reached up with her own right hand then and took Jasmine’s left. 

The two witches now stood hand in hand. She let her chin rest against Merula’s shoulder. Merula was holding on to Jasmine so tightly that her fingers had started to go numb. Then all of a sudden, she could hear a soft voice starting to hum. The tune was familiar to her, but distant, like a childhood lullaby. Slowly, she realised that the gentle tune was, in fact, coming from Merula. 

For a moment, Jasmine froze, unsure of what to do. Then, almost involuntarily, she started to sway to the rhythm of Merula’s melody. As she did so, she felt the other girl’s grip loosen, and then let go of her hands completely, and before she knew it, Merula's hands were sliding up around her waist.

Jasmine brought her own arms up, wrapping them around Merula’s shoulders, holding her tightly as she sung softly into her chest.


	5. Your heart knows what it wants

Jasmine and Merula walked hand in hand through the empty halls of Hogwarts back to the Slytherin Dungeons. The pair slipped through the entrance just a few minutes before Jasmine’s shift finished. 

Crossing the common room in silence, Jasmine cherished the last few seconds of contact between them. As they reached the door to their dorm room, she felt Merula’s hand slip from hers. 

“This never happened,” Merula reminded her, before she disappeared through the doorway.

Jasmine crept in behind her and made her way across to her bed, changing as quietly as she could before slipping beneath the sheets. She glanced over toward Merula but she couldn’t make out anything in the dark room. 

* * *

Jasmine awoke, still smiling, to the sound of her alarm. Her smile quickly faded at the protests of her dorm mates and she quickly silenced the unwelcome wake-up call. 

She crossed the hall to the bathroom to brush her teeth and freshen up. She could still see flecks of glitter in her hair from the bath water last night. When she was ready to start the day, she made her way to the first year’s dorm room and got them all out of bed.

“Here we go girls, up, up! Today will be your second day of classes, and the start of your first full week at Hogwarts. Make sure you check your schedules, and don’t leave here without everything you need for the day. I noticed a few sloppy uniforms last week too, don’t let that happen again. Shirts buttoned all the way up thank you and ties on straight. I’ll see you all down in the common room. Twenty minutes. Go!” 

Jasmine took her place, leaning against the door frame and smiled over at Rowan, waiting on the opposite side.

“You look pleased with yourself.”

“I might be…”

“Anything you want to talk about?” Rowan raised his eyebrows, suggestively.

“Not really, not right now…”

Jasmine watched as Merula and Ismelda filed out from the girl’s dormitory block and made their way towards them. Jasmine bit her lip, looking Merula up and down as she passed by on her way to breakfast. Merula didn’t even glance at her.

“You’re blushing.” Rowan called across to her.

“Am not…”

Rowan narrowed his eyes.

* * *

Monday classes began with a revision of last week’s lecture on Ghouls in Defence Against the Dark Arts. 

Jasmine couldn’t shake the feeling that Professor Rakepick’s eyes were drilling into her a little harder than usual. Rowan also seemed to be unusually distant as he flicked through his textbook and read over his notes from their previous class. 

Jasmine occupied herself by sliding notes back and forth with Chiara about the drama unfolding in the world of muggle’s music, and by daydreaming about the date she had organised for that night.

After class, Rowan accompanied her to the bathroom on the way down to Potion’s class. As she stepped out and met back up with her chaperone, he tugged at her sleeve, halting her from setting off straight toward the dungeons.

“Hey Jasmine, you know that thing you told me on the train? About that girl?”

“Yeah…”

“And, you know how last year, you went to the Celestial Ball with Merula?”

“Yeah…” Jasmine could feel her palms starting to sweat.

“I was thinking about Potions class, how you wrote that note…”

Here we go.

“You said that it wasn’t for me, and Barnaby, well you know that Ismelda would kill you…”

She looked to her shoes, unable to make eye contact with her friend.

“At first I thought maybe you were planning on passing it to one of the boys on another table but, with the way you were on the train, and after that look on your face this morning, I think that maybe… Merula might be your crush?” 

Jasmine exhaled slowly.

“I’m right, aren’t I Jas?”

Closing her eyes, Jasmine leant back against the wall behind her.

“Jasmine, it’s okay you know. I mean,” he lowered his voice to a whisper. “If you’re gay, you know you can tell me, right?”

Jasmine could feel the first hint of tears starting to creep into her eyes and she scrunched them closed tighter. She felt Rowan’s hand on her shoulder, and then she was being pulled into one of his great, warm hugs. Suddenly she didn’t feel quite so small.”

“You can’t… you can’t tell anyone,” she sniffed. “Promise me, please?”

“Jas it’s okay.”

“Promise me!” her raised voice was muffled by his chest. 

“I promise, Jasmine. I won’t tell a soul.”

“I don’t know, Rowan. I don’t know if I’m gay, I don’t know what I am. I just, I keep having these thoughts. No matter how hard I try to stop them, they creep back in…”

“Do you… Do you love her?” Rowan asked gently.

“Umm, maybe, fuck, I don’t know.”

Jasmine felt Rowan’s body tensing involuntarily. She couldn’t help thinking that she had hurt him a little with that almost-confession.

When he next spoke however, he sounded unphased by the news.

“I think, well… I think that if your two souls are being drawn together, for whatever reason, I don’t think that anybody has the right to tell you that what you’re feeling is wrong.”

“Really, Rowan?”

“Really.”

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, don’t you… You fancy me, right?”

“Oh…” Rowan sighed.

“Are you… Are you mad at me? For not liking you that way?”

Rowan almost laughed.

“Oh Jas, I could never be  _ mad  _ at you,” he said. “Am I upset? Maybe a little… But your heart knows what it wants. I can’t change that, and I’m not going to let it damage our friendship.”

Jasmine snuggled deeper into her friend’s embrace.

“You’re too good for this world, Rowan”

“I know…” he whispered.

* * *

Once the class had assembled in the Potions dungeon, Snape made his usual, vaguely threatening opening remarks before demonstrating to them the proper technique to brew a Hair-Raising Potion.

Jasmine watched with a little more interest than usual. She imagined her muggle friends back home would probably die to be able to brew such a concoction. Sadly she wouldn’t actually be able to share the magical brew with them, but perhaps if she could master the technique herself, a few bottles might come in handy on her next trip up to the city.

After she had collected all of the required ingredients, she made her way over to her desk and she sat down beside Merula. Carefully, she edged her stool a little closer to her old rival’s than usual. Her eyes barely left Merula as she crushed up her billywig stings. Merula herself was still managing to ignore her completely, although she certainly didn’t seem to be totally focused on class either.

As Jasmine prepared to add the ingredients to her cauldron, she playfully knocked her knee against Merula’s beneath the desk. The other witch finally turned to match her stare. 

“What do you want, McKellar?”

“I, uhh…” Merula’s harsh tone caught her off guard.

“If you think that I’m going to help you with your pathetic attempt at brewing this potion correctly, you’re sorely mistaken.”

Jasmine grimaced as Merula smirked, pleased with herself. She turned back to her cauldron, dejectedly.

A few seconds later, she felt Merula’s knee knock hers. She looked up. Merula was smiling, carefully dropping the last of her ingredients into her bubbling brew.

Jasmine shook her head and smiled too. Across from the pair, Rowan rolled his eyes.

* * *

True to his word, Rowan kept his mouth shut about Jasmine’s confession over lunch with their friends, Tulip and Badeea. They were joined by Andre Egwu, Ravenclaw’s seeker, so with some friendly quidditch banter, Jasmine was able to keep the conversation lighthearted and firmly away from her topic of her romantic endeavors. Although from her place at the Ravenclaw table, she did have a good view of her crush sharing lunch with Ismelda and Barnaby whenever Andre leaned in toward the others.

* * *

After lunch, Jasmine was forced to endure her first History of Magic class of the term.

Professor Cuthbert Binns, one of Hogwarts’ many ghosts who had been allowed to continue teaching after failing to realise he had died, was famous for often sending whole classes of students to sleep. This term, he declared in his flat, droning voice, they would be covering the various political events which had, during the latter part of the previous century, led up to the outbreak of the Giant Wars. 

Jasmine rolled her eyes at Merula from across the classroom, prompting a smirk before the other witch quickly turned her head. 

As the class drew on, true to form, Professor Binns’ dull monotony soon began to send the students around her to sleep as Jasmine’s eyelids started to grow heavy.

Perhaps sleep was not the worst idea. If she was going to be up all night with Merula, she could use a bit of a top-up. 

* * *

When Jasmine jerked her eyes open at the end of class, Rowan was standing in front of her.

“Let’s go Jasmine, we can get a head start on that first potions assignment before you have to go to detention.”

Great. Okay. That’s definitely how she wanted to spend the next hour.

She grabbed her things and followed Rowan down to the Slytherin common room. 

* * *

Detention crawled after spending her time off studying with Rowan. She was looking forward to getting some time to herself after dinner to get ready for her date with Merula.

Unfortunately, later that evening, as she made her way towards the library for some peace and quiet, she was stopped in her tracks by the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. She turned to find Professor Rakepick striding toward her. 

“Miss McKellar, follow me!”

This couldn't be good.

“What, now?” 

“Yes, now. We have a lot of work to do if you’re going to catch up with Mr Weasley and Miss Snyde.”

Catching up with Miss Snyde was exactly why Jasmine  _ couldn’t  _ follow Rakepick right now, but what choice did she have?

“Hurry up Miss McKellar!” 

* * *

By the time that Professor Rakepick had reached her office, a heavy knot had grown in Jasmine’s stomach. How could she convince Rakepick to let her go… How would she explain it to Merula if she missed their first date? At that moment, she wasn’t entirely sure which witch she was more afraid of… 

She was shaken from her thoughts by the Professor’s sharp voice.

“I’ve already had one on one lessons with Mr Weasley and Ms Snyde this weekend, unfortunately you were quite elusive.”

Jasmine looked to her feet.

“I was busy… with Quidditch” she winced at the obvious lie.

“Where you were is of little consequence. I simply wanted to let you know that I have chosen the three of you as my official curse-breaking apprentices.” 

“Oh, um, thank you, Professor.” So that was it. “I hope that I can make you proud. But… perhaps we could save anything else for another night?”

“Another night? You surprise me, Miss McKellar. I assumed that you would be eager to resume your role as my assistant. Am I to take it that my assumption was incorrect”.

“No, I’m sorry, it’s just… I’ve made some plans for tonight, and I still… I need to get ready.” 

Jasmine’s worry that she might not make it in time grew. She fidgeted with her robes behind her back.

“Unfortunately, as you should already be aware, things in our profession do not always go according to plan. I will need you and your comrades to work together, if we are to find the next vault and break its curse. That means that all of you need to be on the same page. Mr Weasley and Miss Snyde had no issue with giving up their weekend.”

“But… this is important…”

“Ms, McKellar, I can show you places that you never even knew existed, and open your eyes to things you never thought possible. I can teach you spells capable of capturing or obliterating anything foolish enough to get in your way… What could  _ possibly  _ be more important than my instruction?”

There was no fighting it, Professor Rakepick could be impossibly stubborn when she set her mind to something.

“Okay, okay, fine. What is it you want to teach me?”

“That’s better, I knew you would come to your senses eventually.”

The professor smiled a wicked smile. 

“Tonight, we will be exploring the art of conjuration as I instruct you in the proper casting of the Incarcerous Spell.” 

Great, a whole Defence Against the Dark Arts lecture, perfect.

“I… I have to be back in the common room by ten o’clock. The curfew…” 

“I have not forgotten about the curfew Miss McKellar, and I have made arrangements with the door to the Slytherin Common Room. You will be allowed unrestricted access tonight. No matter how late our lesson runs, you will not find yourself without a bed to sleep in.”

“Oh… okay.”

Rakepick signed.

“Look, Miss McKellar. If you really do not wish to be here, I won’t keep you any longer…”

“Really?”

“Any longer… than it takes to master the Incarcerous Spell.”

“Fine,” Jasmine huffed. “Okay.”

“Good. Now that your mind is no longer on the door, perhaps we can begin. The Incarcerous Spell can be used to bind nearly any person or creature. When cast correctly, it will produce a thick rope, which will proceed to tightly bind your target. Please pay attention as I demonstrate the proper form.”

Rakepick turned to face a training dummy in the corner of the room and began her instruction. Jasmine did her best to focus as she took her through their evening class.

As the hours drew on, Jasmine struggled to suppress her growing worry as she tried and tried to cast the incantation to her professor’s high standard.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she managed to cast the perfect binding charm, the ropes erupting forth and coiling around the training dummy. 

“Bravo!” Professor Rakepick gave a single, short clap.

Jasmine shoved her wand into her pocket and straightened her robes.

“May I please be dismissed,” she spoke with hurried words.

“Very well. Go. And I hope that whatever it is that has kept your mind so occupied tonight proves worth cutting your instruction short.” 

Jasmine hoped so too. She shot out of the office and sprinted her way to the end of the hall. She hurried down the changing staircases, leaping across any gaps she thought was small enough for her to clear. The halls were empty, but she could hear the sound of the choir still busy rehearsing in the great hall. She had time.

* * *

Jasmine burst in through the common room doors, drawing the stares of several students up late, snuggled in the chairs by the fire. She passed them in a rush, and found the door to her dorm room.

A few of her dorm mates were still awake when she got there, reading by the light of their individual bedside candles. Jasmine threw open the trunk at the foot of her bed and began tearing through her clothes. 

“What are you doing?” Whispered Liz from the bed next to hers.

“Nothing I, I need to go, I’m late.”

“Late?” Liz smiled. “You have a date, don’t you.”

“I can’t talk, Lizard,” Jasmine said as she pulled out the fitted dress she was looking for. It had capped sleeves and came to her mid-thigh. It was woven from scottish wool and featured a subtle tartan pattern. It was perfect. 

She’d drawn the attention of a few more of her dorm mates now, this was not the low profile evening she was hoping for.

“Go to sleep, I have to go.” Jasmine pleaded.

Her hands trembled as she undid the buttons on her school cardigan and the blouse beneath. Then she tore away the rest of her uniform, leaving it strewn across the floor by her bed. She struggled into her dress and threw on her favourite jacket, an oversized green plaid, double breasted affair with bright brass buttons. Finally she pulled a pair of thick socks on over her tights and jammed her feet down into her boots. 

As she made her way back through the common room, her loose boot laces whipping back and forth, she glanced up at the clock on the wall by the noticeboard. Five minutes to ten. That wasn’t great.

Jasmine crept through the empty dungeon corridors. She made her way upstairs and quickly stepped outside, crossing the bridge to the East Wing and moving as quickly and quietly as she could towards the gatehouse where she and Merula had agreed to meet. Across the river, she could hear the clock in the great clocktower begin striking ten bells. Curfew. More importantly, the start of her date. She tore across the training grounds as the clock reached its tenth chime. 

Shit.

She could see the gatehouse. Just a few more yards. She stumbled as she slowed herself. Her side cramped up after the sudden sprint. An errant shoelace caught beneath the tread of her combat boot. The pavement rushed up to meet her face.

Fuck.

Jasmine struggled into a seated position. The arch of the gatehouse loomed before her. Her knees throbbed. Her palms throbbed. The grazes stung. And Merula was nowhere to be seen. 

Great.

Jasmine tied her shoes before pulling out her wand. “ _ Episkey _ ” she whispered, mending her scrapes and bruises. “ _ Reparo _ ”, she fixed the runs in her tights. 

“ _ Expelliarmus! _ ”

Jasmine’s wand clattered along the stone walkway. 

“I win.” Merula called out in a snarky, sing-song voice. 

“But, you’re late.”

“So were you, and I’m still holding my wand. Therefore, I win!” She grinned wide.

“So you saw that?” Jasmine felt the blood rush to her cheeks.

“A pretty spectacular fall McKellar, I’m not sure whether to be embarrassed for you or impressed at your hang time.”

Merula had reached the gatehouse now and she stood hands on her hips in front of Jasmine.

Jasmine looked up at the other girl as she grabbed her wand and scrambled to her feet.

Merula was wearing a tight grey v-neck top with black suspenders clipped to her baggy black trousers, which bunched up around the tops of her shiny black combat boots. Over her shirt, she wore a dark leather jacket. 

“Wow, you look so good,” Jasmine dusted off her jacket as she paused to admire Merula’s. “I mean, I like the way you look all the time. But I like this look  _ a lot _ .”

Merula scoffed.

“Not even  _ I _ like the way I look  _ all  _ the time. But um, thank you.” Merula bit her lip. “I... like the way you look too, I mean tonight, right now, at least.”

“Um, thank you?”

“So are we going to do this thing, or what?”

Jasmine’s heart fluttered.

“Of course! Follow me.”


	6. I’ll be right there with you, no matter what

Jasmine led Merula along the path down to the Quidditch Stadium.

She desperately wanted to hold the other witch’s hand again, but she’d made such a fool of herself already, she didn’t want to risk further embarrassment if Merula wasn’t in the mood for it. 

They snuck into the large tent beside the stadium and Jasmine started showing Merula around the Slytherin locker room.

“This is my locker… and this is Skye’s, next to mine. Here’s where we would normally keep our brooms, but they’re still locked up until the official training season starts…” Jasmine rambled.

She tried to calm her nerves. Finding a rolled blanket, out of place in the corner of the room, she retrieved it and revealed the two brooms hidden within.

“Skye left these here for us… Do you want to go flying? You can leave your bag here if you want, do you want to?” She was so anxious.

“No, I’ll take it with me,” Merula folded her arms. 

“Oh, um, okay. We can just leave our stuff in the stands then. Just follow me.”

Jasmine led the way up to the Slytherin section in the main stands, quietly hating herself.

Merula dropped her bag onto a wooden bench and Jasmine shoved a broom into her hands.

“You remember how to mount it, right?”

“Of course,” Merula rolled her eyes before awkwardly summoning her broom and clambering on top of it.

Jasmine followed her date up into the air with ease.

“Let’s race!” Merula yelled, just as Jasmine got close to her. She set off as soon as she’d suggested it and Jasmine was forced to give chase.

Merula was almost unbearable as they flew laps of the pitch. Every time that Jasmine would close the distance and overtake her she would face a slew of accusations that she was cutting corners or otherwise cheating. Eventually, Jasmine got so fed up with hearing the constant complaints that she just dropped back and let Merula win.

“See, I knew I was faster on a broom than you.” Merula laughed, pulling up beside her. “I bet Skye only keeps you on the team because she feels sorry for you since your brother’s dead.”

Jasmine flinched, fighting the sudden urge to knock Merula off of her broom.

“What…?” She spat.

Merula’s face went sheet white. 

“Um, hey, it’s a shame she couldn’t smuggle the snitch out here for us. We could have raced to see which one of us could find it the fastest. Then we would know who was the better Quidditch player for certain. I bet it still would have been me.”

“Snyde, I’m a _beater_ , I don’t chase snitches. And you’re not even on the team! What’s gotten into you?” 

Merula scrunched up her face, for a moment she looked… worried? 

“I’m sick of this. Let’s go sit down.”

Merula was back in the stands before Jasmine could even formulate a response, landing clumsily beside where she’d left her things.

Why was she being like this?

As Jasmine sat beside her she turned her face away, focusing on the night sky.

“Let’s see who can last the longest just watching the stars okay? In silence. First one to talk loses. I bet it’ll be you.”

“Snyde, please, I didn’t ask you to meet me tonight just so that we could stargaze in silence. I want to get to know you better!”

“But I hate small-talk, McKellar! I told you that when I asked you to the Celestial Ball. We barely spoke all night, it was great! Can we please just watch the stars? Look, aren’t they just the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen?

“I don’t know, I think you might be…”

“Look! I think I saw a shooting star.”

“What? Where? I didn’t see anything…”

“Be quiet! How are we supposed to enjoy ourselves if you won’t shut up?”

Merula’s words cut Jasmine like a knife.

“Why are you being like this, Snyde? Why are you always so awful to me? I thought you wanted to come here together… I’m starting to doubt that you like me at all.”

Merula stopped her stargazing abruptly. Turning to face Jasmine. She looked hurt.

“McKellar, oh shit. I’m sorry. I’m not _trying_ to be awful to you. And I _do_ like you. It’s just, all of this is so new to me. The things you make me feel, I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before… Sometimes, I get so worked up, I can’t help but say the wrong things.” 

Merula paused.

“I get so nervous when I’m around you. I was so anxious in rehearsal, thinking over all the things you might want to talk about tonight… I nearly didn’t come at all. But then, when I got here, and I saw you fall… Well, I couldn’t just leave you there alone.”

She sighed, she looked as though she was about to cry.

“So I thought, maybe if I just stayed quiet, if we didn’t stop to talk about anything, well then I couldn’t go and ruin anything with my big, stupid mouth.”

Jasmine didn’t know what to say. That was a lot to process all at once.

“But you kept talking to me! You kept insisting and now I’ve gone and fucked it all up anyway! You’re having the most dreadful night and it’s all my fault!”

Merula smashed her hand down into her thigh with a loud thump.

“Fuck!” she screamed.

“Snyde, you… I’m not having a dreadful night.”

“Of course you are! You started this date flat on your face and the first thing I did was disarm you while you were trying to get back on your feet. I should have helped you, but I didn’t. Then everything with the race, and then I said that thing about your brother, fuck. Now look at us fighting! I didn’t even say anything nice about your dress until you’d already told me _I_ looked good. You must think I’m the absolute worst!”

Merula’s eyes were definitely welling up now. 

“Snyde, who cares about who complimented who first, what does any of that matter?”

“I care, all right? I mean, I don’t _care_ , but… I wanted to show you that I could be nice too, nice like you were for me last night. The way you held me… But I fucked up.”

Jasmine shook her head.

“Oh… Snyde, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you were getting so worked up about everything.”

“Well… I was. Look, I’m sorry. I know I’m… a lot, sometimes,” Merula sniffed. “I know you probably wish you’d just asked somebody else to be your date tonight instead. I know you probably hate me again. Here, I’ll just go.”

Merula reached for her bag, but Jasmine caught her by the wrist.

“Snyde! I don’t _hate_ you! I never hated you… And I would never dream of asking anyone else to be my date. You’re… You’re the ‘best witch at Hogwarts’. I really like you. A lot. 

Merula’s eyes lit up, even through the tears.

“Really? Even now, after everything?”

“Even now. I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling like you’ve ruined our date. To be honest, I’ve been feeling the same way. I think we both probably wish we could have done a better job at things tonight.” 

“I guess we both do… so, what do we do now?”

Jasmine let go of Merula’s arm, and edged herself closer along the wooden bench.

“Maybe… we could start over?”

“You mean like, pretend that none of tonight ever happened?”

“Exactly.” 

“Okay, um… could we please do that?” 

Merula looked up into Jasmine’s eyes, her own were wet with tears and her mascara had stained her face a streaky black. 

“I’m ready when you are.” Jasmine said softly.

“Okay.”

Merula sniffed and did her best to dry her eyes. 

“You look really nice tonight, McKellar,” she said with the faintest hint of a smile.

Jasmine smiled back at her. “You do too, Snyde.”

“Can I… Can I hold your hand?” 

“Of course.”

Merula slid closer, pressing her body into Jasmine’s once again. She lay her hand flat against Jasmine’s thigh and Jasmine took it in her own. Their fingers interlocked. 

Merula’s hand was ice cold. Jasmine looked over at her. Even in the dim moonlight, she could tell that Merula had nothing on between her skin and her thin grey top.

“You’re cold,” she said.

“I’m always cold, we’re in fucking Scotland.”

Jasmine laughed.

“Hang on…”

Jasmine removed her oversized jacket and draped half of it over Merula’s shoulder. She slid her arm around her date’s waist and snuggled closer, squeezing under the remaining half jacket.

“Is that better?” She asked.

“Loads better,” Merula smiled.

“Thank you for giving me another chance, McKellar.”

“Of course, Snyde.”

“I really am sorry about that thing I said about your brother. I didn’t really mean anything by it.”

“I know.”

Jasmine sighed, shifting her body subtly. She rubbed her calf against Merula’s shin.

“I really like being close to you.”

“I like being close to you.”

Merula bit down on the corner of her lip.

“I mean, I feel safe. When we touch, it's like…” 

“Like what?”

“Like… Like you’re not going to hurt me.”

“Merula, I would never hurt you.”

Merula looked away, caught off guard by the intimacy of Jasmine using her given name.

Jasmine, winced.

“I’m sorry, I just thought…”

“No, it’s okay. I guess it makes sense. We can’t keep calling each other by our family names for the rest of our lives.”

“No, I can imagine it could get very confusing if I ever started going by the Snyde name as well.” Jasmine laughed.

“Wha…McKellar!” Merula elbowed her in the ribs. “Don’t joke about that!” 

“Who says I was joking?”

“McKellar! I’m serious. My family… They can’t know about this. They can _never_ know.” 

“I know.”

“Do you… Do you really like me _that_ much?”

“I don’t know… maybe. It’s like you said, when I’m with you… it feels different.” 

Jasmine paused. 

“I… I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“It’s just, it’s something that happened over the summer.”

“Oh… what is it?” Merula was intrigued.

“Well, I was in the city with my neighbour Eilidh and some mates of ours.”

“Okay… wait, who?”

“My… my muggle friends.” 

“Muggle friends? Wait, you actually hang out with _muggles_?”

“Well, there aren't really a lot of options where I’m from, Merula. Besides, my neighbour Eilidh, I think you’d probably like her if you ever gave her a chance.”

“I think that if I made friends with a muggle my Aunt would _actually_ kill me.” 

“Yeah, I know. Honestly, I think my parents would too if they ever found out how often we actually see each other.”

“So, what happened?”

“Well we were in Glasgow, I’d snuck out to go and see a show with them. Anyway, outside of the club there was this girl, she was… a lesbian, I think.”

Jasmine furrowed her brow, doing her best to recount the details without bursting into tears again like she had in front of Rowan.

“She was hitting on someone, this girl, or at least it looked like it I guess. The next thing I knew, this guy had started pushing her and swearing. Then he knocked her over, and she hit her head.”

“Oh…”

“So like, she was on the ground, I think she was unconscious. But this guy just grabbed his mates, and then they all started kicking her. She wasn’t doing anything, she wasn’t even moving. But they kept kicking her, and calling her all of these awful things. And she died, Merula. They killed her right there in the street, right in front of me.” 

Merula sat in shock, not sure what to say.

“But do you know what the worst part of it was?”

“What was it?

“The girl, the one who died, just for a moment, she looked just like you.”

“Oh…” 

“I mean, obviously I knew that it wasn’t _really_ you. But there was this small part of me that kept asking the question, what if it had been? It just really scared me. I couldn’t get it out of my head for the whole rest of the break, not completely, not until I finally saw you in the crowd at Hogsmeade Station.”

“You think that I would ever let a group of _muggles_ take me down?”

“Well, no. Obviously not. But what if it hadn’t been muggles. What if somewhere out there, something you couldn’t fight off had tracked you down. I just… I guess I was just frightened that I might lose you, before…”

“Before what?”

Jasmine met Merula’s violet eyes. 

“Merula? Can I… I mean, would it be okay if I kissed you?”

“Oh…” Merula stared back into her eyes. She nodded gently. “Okay”

Jasmine reached across with her free hand and cupped Merula’s face, drawing her in closer. Their lips brushed together. Sliding her hand behind Merula’s head, she planted her lips more firmly. Her heart was racing.

Merula’s mouth was as cold as ice but her breath was warm on Jasmine’s lips. The bitter after-taste of cigarettes rushed through the back of her throat as she inhaled, the lingering evidence of an anxious smoke break on the way to meet her. There was a sweetness to Merula’s breath too though, something that kept her coming back for more. Their lips pressed up against each other more passionately, causing a tiny flame to kindle itself within Jasmine’s core. Her head was spinning. Then, all of a sudden, Merula broke away from her. She pulled Jasmine closer and moved her mouth level with her ear. Speaking in a whisper, her voice cut sharply through the night air.

“I’m _really_ fucking cold, McKellar.”

“Oh…” Jasmine pulled back until she could look Merula in the face. “Do you… do you want to go back to the dormitory?”

She studied the other witch’s face. 

“I just need to warm up. But I don’t care where we go. I… I don’t want this to be over though. Not yet.”

* * *

Jasmine and Merula quietly crept back through the training grounds. They made their way back inside the castle slowly, carefully keeping their eyes peeled for any patrolling professors, Prefects or worse, Filch and Mrs Norris. 

Merula was following so close behind Jasmine as they made their way through the corridors that they were almost touching. Jasmine’s heart was pounding in her ears. Was this really happening? Were they really about to do this?

They finally reached the stairs and began to climb towards the fifth floor. Retracing in reverse the steps they’d taken back to their common room after Merula had come to find her last night. Jasmine reached across and grabbed Merula by the hand, holding her close as they ascended the stone stairway.

By some miracle, though not without their considerable skill at moving through the castle undetected, they made it to the Prefect’s Bathroom without crossing the path of a single other soul. 

Jasmine leaned in and whispered the pass phrase. Then turning the handle the door swung open. She hurried her date inside silently before hurriedly closing the door behind them and bolting it shut.

“We should be safe here, even if there is a Prefect on this floor, they’ll be heading back to their common room soon. No one else can get in here.”

She took out her wand and lit some candles, casting the marble bathroom in a warm, orange glow. 

Merula surveyed the room with eyes wide. 

“Impressive…”

Merula walked over to inspect the grand bathtub more closely. The golden taps glittering beneath the light of the surrounding candles.

“I like this.”

“Did… did you want to get into the bath?” Jasmine asked nervously.

“I mean… that’s the whole point of the Prefect’s _Bath_ room isn’t it?”

“I know, it’s just… well,” Jasmine blushed. “We’d have to take off our clothes.”

“I know how a bath works, McKellar… but isn’t that the point?”

“Oh…”

Jasmine gulped. Was she really about to get undressed in front of _Merula Snyde_?

Merula walked over and took her hands.

“That is what you _want_ , right?”

“Um…yes, it is. I mean, I’ve wanted it for a long time but, is it definitely what _you_ want?”

“It is. If you’ve wanted this for a long time, then I promise that I’ve wanted it for just as long. Probably longer.”

Jasmine laughed. 

“You always have to be one better than me, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine. I actually kind of like it. When you’re not being mean about it, at least.”

“Well, I don’t want to be mean to you anymore.”

“Oh? What _do_ you want to be then?” Jasmine asked with a wry smile.

Merula moved forward and whispered into her ear.

“I want to be yours.”

Jasmine’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Okay, let’s do this.” She dragged Merula back to the side of the bath. “Pick any taps you want. But try a few out first, they’re wild.”

* * *

A few moments later, the bathtub filled with murky, emerald green water and mountains of golden bubbles, Merula stood back to admire her handy work. She’d done well. Standing there in the middle of the night any hot bath would look inviting, but this… it was perfect.

“Okay. Turn around. No peeking.” 

Jasmine did as her crush had commanded. She could hear Merula unlacing her boots, the jangle of the buckles on her leather jacket as it fell to the floor. The rustling of clothes, and then the gentle splashes as Merula entered the water.

“Okay.”

Jasmine turned around. Merula was standing in the centre of the pool-like bathtub, her head and shoulders exposed against a halo of bubbles, her body disappearing into the dark bathwater. 

“Your turn,” Merula smiled.

“Okay… turn around.”

Jasmine waited for Merula to comply before she removed her jacket and boots. She was nearly fully undressed by the time she heard Merula shifting in the water. She quickly finished removing her tights and stood up straight, meeting Merula’s gaze. 

Merula’s head was turned toward her. Her eyes shone bright in the candle light.

“You didn’t say no peeking,” she shrugged.

“No peeking.” Jasmine said firmly.

Merula turned and raised her arms up out of the water dramatically before folding them in, covering her eyes with her hands.

“There.”

Jasmine laughed and removed her pants. She stood there for a moment, completely naked, then took a deep breath in and walked to the edge of the bath. 

Sliding down beneath the water, she made her way out to join Merula in the centre of the bath. The warmth of the water was divine on her skin after the cold of the quidditch stands.

“You can turn around now,” she said.

Merula turned slowly, her hands still over her eyes.

“I meant you can look at me,” Jasmine sighed.

Merula smirked as she drew her arms back down into the cloudy green water.

There was maybe two feet between them.

Her crush’s eyes darted around as she took in Jasmine’s face. Jasmine too took a moment to admire her. They stood, watching each other intently.

“You’re so beautiful,” Merula said.

A lump formed in Jasmine’s throat.

“The way your eyes shine when you get angry, your hair, your… body. Your lips… I wish I looked even half as pretty as you.”

Jasmine studied the girl in front of her. Her face was face flecked with tiny droplets of water, any lingering stains of her running mascara now washed away. Her pale skin was flushed from the sudden heat of the bath. Jasmine watched the flickering candles dance in her violet eyes before her gaze fell to her small mouth and her button nose. 

“But… you are pretty.” 

“You… Do you really think so?” Merula’s eyes were filled with a sudden vulnerability that Jasmine had never seen in her before.

“Um, of course… you’re gorgeous, actually.”

Merula was blushing now, her eyes darted away, focusing intently on a cloud of bubbles drifting by.

“I can’t be the first person to ever tell you that.”

Merula snapped back to her usual self.

“Of course not, I… I hear it all the time…” she struggled to maintain her standoffish composure.

Jasmine stepped forward, pushing her hands through the water, finding the bare skin of Merula’s hips. Merula clenched involuntarily at the sudden contact and Jasmine quickly let go, backing off.

“Wait,” Merula whispered. “It’s okay, I like it. Please…”

Jasmine let her hands return to Merula’s sides, slowly shifting them up to the base of her ribs. Merula slowly moved her own hands up Jasmine’s arms, resting them on her shoulders.

“Thank you, I mean, for seeing me.” She bit her lip. 

Jasmine moved closer still, wrapping her arms back behind Merula’s back. Merula’s own arms crossed behind her head as the pair pulled themselves together. Jasmine felt the sensitive skin of her bare chest pressing against her crush’s and her heart beat faster.

“Can we…”

Jasmine could already see what she wanted, leaning in, meeting Merula’s lips with hers. There was no cold, dry start this time. This kiss was warm, and wet. Merula’s hands balled up in the hair at the back of her head, holding her firmly in place. Jasmine’s mouth cracked open and she felt the heat of Merula’s tongue meet hers. She could feel Merula’s moans of pleasure reverberating through her. There were no questions clouding their minds now, no uncertainties. Jasmine let out a gentle moan of her own. 

She felt Merula’s sharp teeth tugging at her bottom lip, demanding more. Pushing her leg forward so that Merula was straddling her thigh, she kissed deeply, rocking her leg back and forth as she did, causing Merula to let out a soft whimper. 

The feeling of Merula’s soft folds pressed against her skin drove Jasmine mad with lust. She raised her leg, increasing the pressure as Merula began rocking her hips against her. Merula’s breaths were hot against her lips, they came short and fast. She was tugging down on Jasmine’s hair much harder now, and her body trembled in her tight embrace. She let out a strangled cry and pushed her head down, pulling Jasmine’s back at the same time. Her mouth latched on to the base of Jasmine’s neck, sucking and biting at her between her whimpers and moans of pleasure.

Jasmine moved a hand back to Merula’s waist, then up over the bumps of her ribs to cup the side of her delicate breast. Merula inhaled sharply and bit down hard on Jasmine’s shoulder as her thumb slid up and circled her erect nipple. Merula’s breathing was ragged now and her muffled moans turned to grunts as she slid up and down on Jasmine’s leg with rigorous determination. Merula cried out as Jasmine buried her head into her neck, locking her lips in place and sucking hard at the blood beneath her skin, bringing her ever closer to climax. 

Tears of frustration began to well in the corners of Merula’s eyes as she chased her elusive orgasm. Jasmine slid her hands down to hold on to her waist, guiding her, forcing a steady tempo. Finally, Merula’s body began to stiffen, her legs clenched tightly around Jasmine’s and she let out a series of short, sharp cries before settling into a slow, soft mewling. 

Jasmine sighed a deep, satisfied sigh as Merula clung to her in the warm water. She returned her hands to the other girl’s back and let her leg drift down away from her crotch. She held Merula’s slender, shaking frame tight and planted a series of soft kisses over the hickies she’d left dotted across her neck.

* * *

Sitting at the edge of the bath, her arm draped around Merula’s shoulders and the dark green water lapping at her freshly bruised neck, Jasmine closed her eyes. The damp smell of Merula’s thick hair drifted up to her from where her head lay, nestled beneath her jaw.

“That was… incredible. Thank you.”

Jasmine chuckled. 

“You don’t have to thank me Merula.”

“No, I do. _Jasmine_ ,” Merula played with the feel of the name in her mouth. 

“The way you’ve treated me these last few days, like… Like I actually _matter_ . No one’s ever treated me like that before. The way you danced with me last night, the way you held me just now, like you actually _care_ about me.”

“I _do_ care about you.”

“But you need to understand…”

Merula spun around, positioning herself so that she could look directly into Jasmine’s eyes. 

“I used to think that the only two people who could ever love me were my parents… and when they were locked away in Azkaban, taken away from me, I didn’t think I’d ever feel that love again.”

“I’m sorry…”

“You’re the only person in the whole school who has ever been nice to me, who doesn’t automatically hate me because of where my parents are.”

“Oh…”

Jasmine ran her fingers over Merula’s back, tracing patterns down her spine. Merula’s hand came up to rest in the centre of her chest, over her heart. 

After a long while just sitting like that, Merula finally spoke again. 

“Jasmine, I want to taste you.”

Jasmine sat up straighter, moving in for another kiss but Merula’s hand on her chest stopped her, pushed her back down. Her fingers ran from her chest to her belly and down through the soft hairs of her bush. Jasmine quivered as she anticipated Merula’s touch between her legs, then she quaked with the realisation of which taste Merula had actually desired. 

“Oh…”

Merula gave her a coy smile and withdrew her hand, backing away to give Jasmine some room to maneuver.

Jasmine slowly raised herself up and out of the water and sat herself down on the marble step that formed the lip of the bath. The air was much warmer now, whether by its own magical methods or simply the diffusion of heat from the steaming bathwater. Either way, she was grateful for it.

She felt so vulnerable, sitting out in the open. No more murky water to hide in. But her excitement over what was about to take place far outweighed any hesitant thoughts in her mind. Merula crouched in the shallow water in front of her. She leaned backwards slightly and spread her legs apart, adjusting her hips to expose herself to Merula’s curious gaze.

Merula slowly edged closer to the wall. Her eyes were wide as they explored the view before them. She was breathing heavily, her mouth slightly agape. She looked nervous but also… hungry. 

Jasmine chewed on her lip as she watched Merula’s approach. She shivered as she felt the heat of her breath falling on her wet flesh. She threw her head back and fixed her eyes on the ceiling above them.

Merula paused again, her breath coming in waves, flowing over Jasmine’s core. Jasmine stifled a whimper as the anticipation built within her once more. Merula smirked to herself and kissed at Jasmine’s inner thigh. 

Jasmine couldn’t stifle her moan this time. She rolled her hips up and down, trying to entice Merula’s attention back to her dripping opening. Her lips were swollen with arousal and they craved her affection.

Merula snickered and resumed teasing Jasmine’s thigh, flicking her tongue over her glistening skin and nibbling at the soft transition between her leg and her core. 

“Merula, _please_ …” she begged.

She looked down to see Merula grinning wide. She leant her cheek against the thigh she’d been working over and looked up at Jasmine with mock disappointment.

“But I’m having _so_ much fun,” she laughed.

Merula raised a slender white hand from out of the dark of the water. She delicately brought it between Jamine’s legs and started to meticulously part the wet curls of hair surrounding her centre, revealing the intricate details of her anatomy. She carefully pushed back the hood of her clitoris before running her fingers gently down along the outside of her labia. 

Jasmine’s nerves were on fire. It was all she could do to stop herself from collapsing onto the marbled floor behind her. She squeezed her eyes closed as she focussed in on the gentle pokes and prods of Merula’s exploratory touches. 

“Fuck…” she whined.

Finally, Merula seemed to give in to her pleas. Jasmine let out a startled cry as she felt the slippery wet of Merula’s tongue slide up and over her opening. 

“Mmmm…” Merula moaned.

Jasmine shuddered. She felt the flicks of Merula’s tongue gradually working the way up toward the bud of her clit. When they finally arrived, bolts of intense pleasure shot through Jasmine’s body. 

“Oh fuck!” she gasped, nearly slipping from her perch. She grabbed a fistful of Merula’s messy hair and pushed her down, back to slightly less sensitive flesh.

“Sorry.” Merula whispered as she grabbed Jasmine by the hips to steady her. Jasmine could feel Merula’s tongue working its way toward the mouth of her arousal, seeking out the sweetness of her core. Jasmine tugged on Merula’s hair now, forcing the girl’s tongue to delve deeper as her nose pressed into the swollen flesh of her hood. She watched the flash of orange in Merula’s fringe flowing with the movement of her body as she curled her legs up and around the head of her new lover.

Jasmine felt the first sparks of the fire inside of her which would soon grow to become the burning flames of her orgasm. Merula was growing in confidence now and had started to settle into a consistent rhythm.

“Oh… fucking... shit, oh shit…” Jasmine managed between the crashing waves of ecstasy. 

She felt Merula’s murmurs of satisfaction buzzing through her. Her fingers kneaded at the sides of Jasmine’s buttocks sending her to new heights of pleasure. Enraptured by the witch’s touch, the fire within her grew. She could feel it burning in her chest, feel the tingling in her fingers and toes.

“Don’t stop,” she choked. “Don’t you dare fucking stop!”

Merula did her best to keep the pace she had inadvertently set for herself. Every note she hit was a glorious step towards crescendo, every missed beat an excruciating agony. Jasmine’s stomach tensed, the muscles in her thighs burned as she clenched them tightly around Merula’s face. She sucked in one last gulp of air before the conflagration within her exploded and she threw her head back with a guttural scream. As the spasms of her climax kicked in and her sex contracted around Merula’s tongue she let out another long scream, and then another, shorter and higher pitched. 

Her whole body shaking, Merula could no longer hold Jasmine in place and she collapsed backwards onto the cold floor, her arms splayed out above her head. Her legs hung limp over Merula’s shoulders as her lover watched on in silent awe. Jasmine’s chest rose and fell with her rapid breaths, she opened her mouth to speak but only managed a whimpering cry. 

Merula was out of the bath now, crouching on the tiles beside her. Jasmine smiled up through teary eyes. Unable to really move she lay there, panting as she rode out the last of her orgasmic contractions. 

“Jasmine? Are you okay?” Merula’s face came into focus. She looked legitimately concerned.

Was she _okay_? She had never felt so good in her entire life. 

Jasmine burst out laughing and Merula soon joined her, nervously at first but then more freely as she recognised the sheer happiness in Jasmine’s face. Calming herself enough to struggle up into a sitting position, Jasmine quickly lost it again as Merula dropped out of her crouch on to the floor beside her. Merula’s playful giggles mixed with Jasmine’s ragged wheezes as the two girls sat there in hysterics. 

When they finally regained their composure Jasmine let out a long sigh of relief.

“Fucking… fuck, Merula!”

Merula’s eyes shot across to meet her own. She looked so innocent.

“Was… was it good?”

Jasmine fixed her stare on those beautiful wells of violet.

“ _You_ , were fucking incredible.”

Merula smiled, a soft, genuine smile that felt like it filled Jasmine’s heart with golden sunshine. Slowly it dawned on her that Merula was now sitting on the floor beside her completely naked. No thin grey top, no murky green water, just ruddy alabaster skin and thick, dark hair. 

Merula caught Jasmine looking at her and quickly scoffed.

“I guess now we’re even?”

Jasmine laughed. 

“You didn’t say no peeking,” she chided.

Merula scooched closer.

“No peeking!” she scolded as she smacked Jasmine on the arm before the pair erupted into another fit of childish laughter. 

A few deep breaths later and Merula and Jasmine sat face to face.

“Jasmine…”

“Yeah?”

“I really liked tonight.”

“I really liked it too, Merula.”

“I really liked being _nice_ to you…”

“I really liked you being nice to me too,” Jasmine flashed a cheeky smile.

Merula smiled back at her, but there was a sadness behind her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Mer?

“Umm…” Merula blinked back her surprise at the new nickname. “Well, I was just thinking, I don’t want things to go back to how they were.”

“What do you mean?”

“Last night… after we were holding hands, I said ‘this never happened’, remember?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I don’t want _this_ to never have happened. I can’t just forget this.”

“But… What if somebody notices us acting differently towards each other, what if your Aunt finds out, or my parents?”

“I don’t care anymore Jas. I don’t want to hide this,” Merula said, jumping to her feet.

“Tonight… what we just did… that was the most incredible thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m not going to walk around out there and pretend like it didn’t happen, I refuse to!”

“Okay, okay…” Jasmine was on her feet as Merula finished. 

Closing the distance between them she took Merula’s hands in hers and held her close. 

“I really like you, Merula. I’ll be right there with you, no matter what.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“I really like you too, Jasmine. A lot. But, what if it does get back to my Aunt and I get kicked out of home? Or what if your parents disown you like they did to Jacob?”

“Then… I don’t know, we’ll go and live with the Khanna’s, or the Parkin’s… Fuck, if it comes to it, I’d take a hammock strung up in the corner of Hagrid’s hut if it meant that we could still be together.”

“I don’t think we’d be able to get much of this done in a hammock in Hagrid’s hut,” Merula laughed, gesturing to the piles of clothing and puddles of water that surrounded them.

“No, we probably couldn’t.” Jasmine laughed.

“You would really go through all of that though, just to be with me?”

“I’m tired of hiding how I feel, Merula. If you don’t want to hide either, then fuck it. I don’t care who fucking finds out.”

* * *

Jasmine and Merula slipped out of the Prefect’s Bathroom and into the fifth floor corridor. Merula’s hand was pressed against her back as Jasmine checked to make sure the coast was clear.

Silently, they crept back through Hogwarts’ empty halls toward their dormitory. Through the large glass windows they passed on their way down Jasmine could see the first hint of dawn’s amber light growing behind the horizon. It must have been close to five o’clock already. They had an hour, maybe two before their peers would start waking up and they would be expected to be getting dressed and ready for breakfast.

As Jasmine approached the wall that hid her common room door she had a slight pang of fear that Professor Rakepick’s arrangement would have expired and they would be stuck outside for another hour, but as she spoke the words her fears were abated and the door swung open. 

The pair hurriedly crossed the common room floor and made it to the door to their room. Jasmine stopped and turned to face Merula. Her lover met her gaze with a fierce determination in her eyes. Together, they took a deep breath and pushed through into the room beyond. 

Jasmine kicked off her boots and pulled her dress off over her head before sliding out of her tights and collapsing into her awaiting bed. Merula drew the privacy curtains closed and climbed in behind her. Jasmine shifted forward to make some more room before she felt the warm skin of Merula’s soft belly press into her lower back. A hand found its way up and over her waist to rest comfortably on her chest and Jasmine smiled to herself as she drifted into a brief but heavy sleep.

  
Merula mumbled something into her back, and then everything slipped away.


	7. Artwork

**Jasmine and Merula's First Kiss**

art commission by [BananaGeGe](https://www.instagram.com/banana.ge.ge/)

* * *

* * *

Jasmine reached across with her free hand and cupped Merula’s face, drawing her in closer. Their lips brushed together. Sliding her hand behind Merula’s head, she planted her lips more firmly. Her heart was racing.

Merula’s mouth was as cold as ice but her breath was warm on Jasmine’s lips. The bitter after-taste of cigarettes rushed through the back of her throat as she inhaled, the lingering evidence of an anxious smoke break on the way to meet her. There was a sweetness to Merula’s breath too though, something that kept her coming back for more.

\-- Excerpt from _Do you like me? Yes or No_ by [Saltcoats_Selkie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltcoats_Selkie/pseuds/Saltcoats_Selkie)


End file.
